IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

'Prevention is better than cure''. Researching and treating disease is too costly so it would be better to invets in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree

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There is no denying the fact that
now dayes
Correct your spelling
nowadays
people
Use synonyms
 become more awarence about how
become
Verb problem
to become
show examples
more healther
Correct your spelling
healthier
.
While
Linking Words
 it is commonly
held believe
Wrong verb form
believed
show examples
 that researching and treating disease is expensive
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 it would be
prevention
Use synonyms
 is better than cure,there is
also
Linking Words
 an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that
invets
Correct your spelling
investments
 in preventative measures
it
Verb problem
are
show examples
 so
better
Rephrase
much better
show examples
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
prevention
Use synonyms
 is less costly than
cure
Correct article usage
a cure
show examples
.
In other words
Linking Words
, treating disease
cost
Correct subject-verb agreement
costs
show examples
 governments large amounts.
In addition
Linking Words
,
prevention
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as vaccinations and periodic check-ups
, it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
 is
more
Rephrase
apply
show examples
cheaper
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 the governments can save money in the long term.
For example
Linking Words
, providing free vaccinations or periodic health checks. Another point to consider
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
Prevention
Use synonyms
 help to reduce the number of patients
it
Capitalize the word
It
show examples
 is
also
Linking Words
 possible to say that if
people
Use synonyms
 fllowing healthy lifestyle reduce the
incidrence
Correct your spelling
incidence
 of
diseases
Punctuation problem
diseases,
show examples
this
Linking Words
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
relieves the pressure on hospitals and
doctars
Correct your spelling
doctors
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, improving the quality of life, it helps
people
Use synonyms
 on life with better health.
For instance
Linking Words
, reduce pain and suffering, and increase the average age. In conclusion, despite
people
Use synonyms
 having different views, I believe that
prevention
Use synonyms
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 to reduce
cost
Check wording
costs
show examples
 and save money,
also
Linking Words
 reduce number of
pations
Correct your spelling
patients
 and
mack
Correct your spelling
makes
people
Use synonyms
 in quality
life
Change preposition
of life
show examples
.

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task response
Estimated score: 5. Your answer is on topic, but the ideas need more detail. Explain how each step, such as free checks, stops a serious illness and saves money later.
task response
The question asks “to what extent”. State this more clearly: “I strongly agree, but treatment is still needed for people who are already ill.” Then explain this in one short part.
task response
Your examples are too short. Give one clear example: free blood pressure checks can find a problem early, so people may not need costly hospital care.
task response
Do not repeat the same point. “Less costly”, “save money”, and “reduce cost” are one idea. Add a new idea, such as people can work, study, and care for their families when they stay healthy.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each body part. Body 1 can be about money. Body 2 can be about fewer sick people and a better life.
coherence and cohesion
Make full topic sentences. For example, change “Another point to consider, Prevention help to reduce the number of patients” to “Another reason is that prevention can reduce the number of patients.”
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are not complete or are joined in the wrong way. For example, write “If people follow a healthy lifestyle, the number of diseases may fall. This can reduce pressure on hospitals and doctors.”
coherence and cohesion
Use links only when they show a clear step. For example: “First”, “As a result”, “For example”, and “Therefore”. This will make your ideas easier to follow.
task response
You give a clear view: you agree that stopping illness is better than only treating it.
task response
Your two main ideas are on topic: saving money and having fewer sick people.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words, such as “To begin with”, “In addition”, “Moreover”, and “For example”.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • preventive measures
  • public health campaigns
  • health education
  • healthy lifestyle
  • regular physical activity
  • balanced diet
  • early detection
  • routine health checks
  • screening programmes
  • vaccination programmes
  • avoidable illnesses
  • lifestyle-related diseases
  • reduce the burden on hospitals
  • healthcare expenditure
  • medical research
  • life-saving treatment
  • genetic conditions
  • long-term savings
  • allocate public funds
  • a balanced approach
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