Prevention is better than cure''. Researching and treating disease is too costly so it would be better to invets in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree

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There is no denying the fact that nowadays
people
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become more awarence about how to become healthier.
While
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it is a commonly held belief that researching and treating disease is expensive , so it would be
prevention
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is better than cure,there is
also
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an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that investments in preventative measures are so much better.
To begin
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with,
prevention
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is less costly than a cure.
In other words
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, treating disease costs governments large amounts.
In addition
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,
prevention
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such
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as vaccinations and periodic check-ups is cheaper , so the governments can save money in the long term.
For example
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, providing free vaccinations or periodic health checks. Another point to consider
,
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apply
show examples
Prevention
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help to reduce the number of patients . It is
also
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possible to say that if
people
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fllowing healthy lifestyle reduce the incidence of diseases,
this
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relieves the pressure on hospitals and doctors.
Moreover
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, improving the quality of life, it helps
people
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on life with better health.
For instance
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, reduce pain and suffering, and increase the average age. In conclusion, despite
people
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having different views, I believe that
prevention
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helps to reduce costs and save money,
also
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reduce number of patients and improves
people
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's quality of life.

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task response
Score: 5. Your answer is on the topic, but your ideas need more detail. Explain how health checks or shots stop later health problems and save more money.
task response
Use real, clear examples. For example, say that a free shot can stop many people from getting one serious illness, so fewer people need hospital care.
task response
Answer “to what extent” more fully. Say clearly that you mostly agree, but money for care is still needed because some people will get sick.
coherence and cohesion
Score: 5. Keep one main idea in each body part. The second body part has too many ideas: fewer sick people, less work for hospitals, better life, less pain, and longer life. Pick one or two and explain them.
coherence and cohesion
Fix broken and very short parts. “Another point to consider, Prevention help to reduce the number of patients” should be one full sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Make links between ideas more natural. Do not use “In other words” when you are adding a new reason. Use “This means that” or “As a result” instead.
coherence and cohesion
Your first example is not complete because it only repeats the idea. Add what happens next: free checks can find illness early, before it becomes more serious.
task response
You give a clear view: you agree that prevention is better.
task response
You give two main reasons: it can save money and lower the number of sick people.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an end.
coherence and cohesion
You use some link words, such as “To begin with”, “In addition”, “Moreover”, and “In conclusion”.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • preventive measures
  • public health campaigns
  • health education
  • healthy lifestyle
  • regular physical activity
  • balanced diet
  • early detection
  • routine health checks
  • screening programmes
  • vaccination programmes
  • avoidable illnesses
  • lifestyle-related diseases
  • reduce the burden on hospitals
  • healthcare expenditure
  • medical research
  • life-saving treatment
  • genetic conditions
  • long-term savings
  • allocate public funds
  • a balanced approach
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