IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Global warming is one of the biggest threats human face in the 21st century and sea levels are continuing to rise at alarming rates. What problems are associated with this and what are some possible solutions.

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climate
Capitalize the word
Climate
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 change is one of the most serious challenges of
he
Correct determiner usage
the
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 21st century
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 sea levels are continuing to rise at alarming rates.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the main causes of
this
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problem
Use synonyms
 and propose effective solutions.
To begin
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 with, there are many issues that can lead to a serious threat worldwide.
effective
Capitalize the word
Effective
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 solutions are needed to address issues.
Firstly
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, plastic use and
car
Check wording
cars
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 are among the biggest
Use synonyms
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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, they produce harmful
emssions
Correct your spelling
emissions
, which can cause climate change.
ln
Correct your spelling
In
 other words,
people
Use synonyms
 rely on their vehicles on a daily basis, which increases global temperature and harm envirnment.
Linking Words
in
Capitalize the word
In
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 addition, industries can lead to air pollution, which increaes temperature of the planet .
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for
Capitalize the proper name
For
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 example, the number of animals is decreasing.
many
Capitalize the word
Many
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 fires are caused by carbon dioxide. To solve
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
,
There are
Verb problem
apply
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several effective measures can be taken.The government should enforce strict rules on
people
Use synonyms
 who do not follow instructions.
it
Capitalize the word
It
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 is
also
Linking Words
 possible to say that taxes have to make as much as possible .
they
Capitalize the word
They
show examples
 help
people
Use synonyms
 protect their environment. Many
people
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 do not
Verb problem
cause
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harm
effect on
Change preposition
to
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 the earth and climate change
.
Punctuation problem
. Moreover
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moreover
Linking Words
, the environment enhances that reduces alarm rate
in
Change preposition
of alarm in
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 the sea.
Linking Words
for
Capitalize the word
For
show examples
 instance, Germany and
spain
Capitalize the proper name
Spain
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 pay that attention taxes , which
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
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 to alleviate
problem
Use synonyms
 . In conclusion, in my opinion i think the government should tell
people
Use synonyms
 of advantage and disadvantage on advertisement like platforme
such
Linking Words
 as
Youtube
Capitalize the proper name
YouTube
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, snapchat and
facebook
Capitalize the proper name
Facebook
show examples
. which increase aware between children or young
people
Use synonyms
 .

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task response
Score: 4. The question asks for problems from rising sea levels and solutions. Your essay mainly writes about causes of climate change, such as cars and plastic. Write more about the sea level problems: homes near the sea may be lost, people may have to move, and farm land may be under water.
task response
Make each main idea clear and add a short reason or example. For example: “Rising sea water can flood coastal towns. As a result, families may lose their homes.”
task response
Your solutions need to match the problems. You can say that governments should build sea walls, stop building homes in high-risk places, and cut gas from cars and factories.
coherence and cohesion
Your main plan is not fully clear. The introduction says you will discuss causes, but the question asks for problems and solutions. Change the plan to: “This essay will discuss the problems caused by rising sea levels and some possible solutions.”
coherence and cohesion
Put one clear idea in each paragraph. Paragraph 1: problems of higher sea levels. Paragraph 2: solutions. Do not mix plastic, cars, animals, fires, and sea levels in the same part.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple links in a clear way: “One problem is…”, “Another problem is…”, “To deal with this…”, and “For this reason…”. Make sure each sentence follows the one before it.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion should sum up the two main parts. Do not add a new idea only about ads. Say again that sea level rise can harm people and land, and that both government and people need to act.
task response
You give causes and solutions. You also use an example of Germany and Spain.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body parts, and a conclusion. Words such as “Firstly”, “In addition”, and “In conclusion” help the reader.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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