The chart below shows the percentage of females aged 16-25 in a particular country who participated in sports, compared with the percentage of people who watched them in 2000.

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The provided bar chart compares the proportion of females aged 16-25 in a specific country who participated in 6 different sports, compared with the percentage of people who watched them in the
separate
Correct word choice
apply
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year 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
the rate of watching was the highest in four out of six sports,
whereas
Linking Words
basketball recorded the
utmost
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
fraction in terms of participating. In detail, the share of
tennis
Use synonyms
those
Correct pronoun usage
that those
show examples
who watched accounted for 60% in 2000.
However
Linking Words
, there was a dramatic difference of 35 percentage points between gymnastics and basketball, at 20% and 55%, respectively.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, badminton recorded just under 10%, compared with 10% for golf
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
terms of watching. The figure for horse riding and racing had
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
similar pattern
as a
Change preposition
to
show examples
badminton in 2000.
By contrast
Linking Words
, females
those
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
who participated in
tennis
Use synonyms
stood at 30%,
while
Linking Words
in gymnastics there was a much lower
than
Check wording
rate than
show examples
Use synonyms
tennis
Change preposition
in tennis
show examples
at approximately 10%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in basketball
females
Punctuation problem
, females
show examples
had the largest percentage at 50%, compared with 11% for badminton.
Likewise
Linking Words
, horse riding and racing were the lowest
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
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among the others
just
Punctuation problem
, just
show examples
under 5%,
while
Linking Words
for
category
Correct article usage
the category
show examples
golf
Change preposition
of golf
show examples
, which had
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
similar level
as a
Change preposition
to that of
show examples
tennis
Use synonyms
in 2000.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 81%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words tennis with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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