IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

in Many countries, consumers can go to supermarkets and buy food made across the world. Do think this a positive or negative.

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Several countries allow consumers to purchase
food
Use synonyms
 made globally. I believe that
this
Linking Words
 is negative because relying on national
food
Use synonyms
 has far greater advantages as it reinforces the
country
Check wording
country's
show examples
 agricultural identity and protects local businesses from financial loss. To start with, selecting national
food
Use synonyms
 over global ones fosters the
country cultivation
Replace the word
country's cultural
 identity. People reflect their appreciation and pride
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their local products when they
chose
Wrong verb form
choose
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 national
food
Use synonyms
instead
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 of
food
Use synonyms
 made across the world. During corona pandemic,
for instance
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, local nutrition substitutions were highly sought after
due to
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 the global lockdown.
This
Linking Words
 had increasingly promoted
people
Check wording
people's
show examples
 awareness of the local
products
Check wording
products'
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 value and the necessity of promoting the
agriculture
Replace the word
agricultural
 field. 
Nevertheless
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, depending heavily on global
food
Use synonyms
 reduces cultural eating.
Due to
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 less reliance on fresh, locally produced
food
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 will normally contribute to
diminishing
Correct article usage
the diminishing
show examples
 of traditional cooking and cultural practices. Another supporting reason for my opinion is the financial harm forced against the local farmers. Many people, particularly from
middle
Correct article usage
the middle
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 class, count greatly on agriculture as a main source of income. Owners of some huge farms hire workers and run
food
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 factories that both require
sufficient
Correct article usage
a sufficient
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 budget.
Therefore
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,
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
demand
Change preposition
in demand
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 for cheap imported
food
Use synonyms
 will
consequently
Linking Words
 leave them out of the business. A large number of
Citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 in the Asian countries,
for instance
Linking Words
, would be under poverty threat if the purchase of international alternatives continued.
Therefore
Linking Words
, encouraging local
food
Use synonyms
 will ensure a dignified life for
this
Linking Words
 group. In the end, buying locally made
food
Use synonyms
 has far greater benefits for the
country
Check wording
country's
show examples
 agriculture
as well as
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 for the individuals.
Along with
Linking Words
 highlighting the value of the agricultural identity, it ensures financial stability for local farmers.

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task response
Estimated band: 6. Your answer is on topic and your view is clear. To reach band 7, explain each main idea more fully. For example, say exactly how buying food from other countries makes local farms lose money, and why this is a problem for the whole country.
task response
Some claims are too broad. For example, “a large number of citizens in Asian countries” is not a clear example. Use one clear place or a more general example, such as: “If cheap rice is brought into a small farming town, local rice farmers may not be able to sell their crop.”
task response
The first body part has two ideas that do not fully match. It first says local food builds national identity, then says foreign food can reduce traditional cooking. Join them more clearly: “When people buy more imported food, they may cook local dishes less often. Over time, this can weaken food traditions.”
coherence and cohesion
Keep one clear point in each paragraph. In body paragraph 1, start with the effect on local food culture, explain it, give one example, and end the point. Do not move back and forth between pride, Covid, and cooking traditions without clear links.
coherence and cohesion
Use links that show cause and result more exactly. Instead of “Nevertheless”, use “As a result” or “For this reason” where you explain an effect. “Nevertheless” is for an opposite idea, but the next sentence continues the same negative point.
coherence and cohesion
Make the ending more direct. You can write: “In conclusion, I believe imported food is mainly negative because it can weaken local food traditions and reduce income for local farmers.” This repeats your answer and two main reasons clearly.
task response
You give a clear answer: you think this change is negative. Your two main ideas are clear: local food can help a country keep its food culture, and it can help local farmers and businesses.
task response
You use examples, such as the Covid period and farmers in Asian countries. These help show what you mean.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear shape: an introduction, two main body parts, and a short ending. Each body part has one main point.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words such as “To start with”, “For instance”, “Therefore”, and “In the end”. This makes the order of ideas easy to follow.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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