SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT ART (EX. PAINTING, MUSIC, POETRY, ETC.) CAN BE MADE BY EVERYONE WHEREAS OTHERS BELIEVE THAT IT CAN ONLY BE MADE BY THOSE WITH SPECIAL ABILITY. DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION.

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Many people argue that meeting human demands for agriculture, industrial development, and housing should take priority over protecting land for endangered animals.
However
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, I completely disagree because conserving animal
habitats
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is vital for maintaining
biodiversity
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and ensuring the stability of
ecosystems
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,
that
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which
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eventually
lead
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leads
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to
benefits
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for both
wildlife
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and
humans
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.
Firstly
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, protecting land for endangered animals is essential because all species
from
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, from
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microorganisms to top
predators
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predators,
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play a vital role in maintaining
biodiversity
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and ecological balance. If one species becomes extinct, it can disrupt the food web and negatively impact other organisms that depend on it.
Consequently
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,
ecosystems
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will fail to support life
and
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, and
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biodiversity
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will decline.
For example
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, the decline of bees in many countries has reduced pollination, which directly affects crop production and food supplies for both
wildlife
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and
humans
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.
Secondly
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, conserving natural
habitats
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also
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benefits
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humans
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in the long-term. Healthy and balanced
ecosystems
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provide essential services
such
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as clean water, fertile soil,
climate
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regulation, and natural resources that people depend on every day.
Although
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expanding farmland and housing may provide
short term
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short-term
economic
benefits
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, destroying
wildlife
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habitats
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can lead to environmental problems
such
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as
climate
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change and global warming in the future.
For instance
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, deforestation contributes to
climate
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change as carbon dioxide levels will increase and greenhouse
gasses
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gases
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will spike as well. these gasses are the main factors that contribute to
climate
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change and
increasing
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increase
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the Earth’s temperature. In conclusion, I strongly disagree that human development should take priority over protecting land for endangered animals. Conserving natural
habitats
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is essential for maintaining
biodiversity
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and ensuring healthy
ecosystems
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, which provide long-term
benefits
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for both
wildlife
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and
humans
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.

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Task response
Main issue: this essay answers a different question. The given task asks about art: whether everyone can make art or only people with special ability. Your essay is about land for endangered animals. Because of this, the task response score would be very low in a real IELTS test.
Task response
For the art task, discuss both sides. First, explain why all people can make art, such as through practice and free self-expression. Then explain why some people think special ability is needed, such as for great skill or new work. After that, clearly give your own view.
Task response
Your ideas are mostly clear, but add one more direct link between each reason and your main view. For example, after the bee example, say clearly why this means animal land should be protected.
Coherence and cohesion
Your order is good, but some links are not smooth. In the first body part, “Consequently, ecosystems will fail to support life” is too strong. Use a more careful idea, such as: “As a result, the natural system may become less stable.”
Coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic sentences. Your first body part does this well. In the second part, make the point more direct: “Protecting animal land also helps people in the long term.”
Coherence and cohesion
Check small form errors that can make the flow less clear: write “short-term”, start “These gases” with a capital letter, and use “greenhouse gases”, not “gasses”.
Task response
Your main view is clear: you do not agree that human needs should come before animal land. You give two clear reasons: nature needs many kinds of animals, and healthy land also helps people.
Coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an ending. Words such as “Firstly”, “Secondly”, “For example”, and “In conclusion” help the reader follow your ideas.
Examples
The example about bees and crop food is useful and directly supports your first main point.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-expression
  • emotional release
  • storytelling
  • formal training
  • lasting value
  • impact
  • subjective nature
  • inclusivity
  • modern art movements
  • non-professional artists
  • recognition
  • expertise
  • dedication
  • anecdotal experiences
  • art education
  • inherent potential
  • structured learning
  • artistic excellence
  • creativity
  • talent
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