IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

Nowadays, an increasing number of elderly people choose to live alone rather than with their families. This trend has led to several serious problems, including loneliness and a lack of immediate support in emergencies. This essay will discuss these issues and suggest some effective solutions.

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Nowadays, old people are living alone rather than with their own families.
This
Linking Words
 trend has
let
Verb problem
led
show examples
 to several serious problems, like loneliness and health issues.
This
Linking Words
 essay should discuss problems and suggest some effective solutions. One
primarily
Replace the word
primary
 problem is that elderly people may feel
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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anxiety, loneliness and
depressed
Replace the word
depression
 because of
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of attention from their children or
grandchild
Fix the agreement mistake
grandchildren
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. As a person’s lifestyle, there are a lot of children who
do
Verb problem
are
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 not
look
Wrong verb form
looked
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 after
from
Change preposition
by
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 their parents
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 many elderly parents are left to live alone after their adult children move out, so that’s
way
Use the right word
why
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, without emotional support, they may lose motivation and their quality of life declines.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 without regular care, their mental and physical health may deteriorate.
As a result
Linking Words
, elderly people may feel
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
isolated

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task response
Score: 5. Your ideas are on the right topic, but the essay is not complete. You need to discuss more than one problem and give clear answers. Write a full paragraph about help from family, local groups, or care workers.
task response
Give a real, clear example. For example: “If an old person falls at home, there may be no one to help quickly.” This makes your point stronger.
task response
Explain each idea in a simple order: problem, why it happens, and what can be done.
coherence and cohesion
Score: 5. Start each body paragraph with one clear main idea. Do not put too many ideas in one long sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple links carefully: “First,” “Also,” “For example,” “As a result,” and “To solve this problem.”
coherence and cohesion
Add a short ending. Say again that living alone can be hard for old people and that family and local help can make life better.
coherence and cohesion
Check your sentence order. For example, write “because they do not get enough care from their children” instead of “because of lack of attention from their children or grandchild.”
task response
You give a clear main problem: old people can feel alone and sad.
task response
You explain a reason: their adult children move out and cannot give care.
coherence and cohesion
The opening tells the reader that you will write about problems and answers.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words such as “As a result” to show cause and effect.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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