IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Many people in cities live alone or in small family units instead of with extended family. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

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It is believed
now days
Correct your spelling
nowadays
 that a lot of individuals live alone or with small community figures
instead
Linking Words
 of living in a large family. In my personal opnion i think that
this
Linking Words
 is a negative development
to
Change preposition
for
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 people. Some problems might be easy to solve.
However
Linking Words
, living alone might make
them
Fix the agreement mistake
it
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 hard. If you had an
accident
Punctuation problem
accident,
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 you might have both
Correct article usage
a
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hard and
long
Correct article usage
a long
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 time
soliving
Use the right word
solving
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 it.
For example
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, my father used to live alone in his van and had
an
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 car accident. Which
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 led to scars from it because he was alone
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 he slept there were no people around to help him, but
likly
Correct your spelling
likely
 he survived.
Also
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, living alone or with a small family means that you have to be both strong
mentaliy
Correct your spelling
mentally
 and
physiqle
Correct your spelling
physically
. because living alone
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 it hard to communicate with others
leading
Punctuation problem
, leading
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 to some real
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
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.
Moreover
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, one of my friends
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 used to live alone back in the day got his hart beat stop
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 there was no man around him
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 sadly led to his death.
That is
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 why living alone is considered
foolish
Correct article usage
a foolish
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 thing to do
due to
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 the fact that you may be harmed and there is no one to help rescue
.
Correct pronoun usage
you.
show examples
To sum up
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, it is obvious to all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people that living alone has
it is
Correct determiner usage
its
show examples
 disadvantages, getting sick and lack of communication, and have hard time living away from your family

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overall score
Estimated score: 5. Your main view is clear, but the ideas need more full support and the order needs to be clearer.
task response
Talk about both parts of the topic more fully. You write about living alone, but say less about living in a small family. Explain why a small family may also have less help than a large family.
task response
Make each main idea clearer. For example, say that a large family can give quick help in an emergency, while a person living alone may wait a long time for help.
task response
Your examples are personal and fit your point, but they are very strong. Use one short example, then explain how it proves your main idea.
task response
Add another reason, such as older people may feel alone, or family members may have less day-to-day support.
coherence and cohesion
Start each body part with one clear main sentence. Then give an example and a short explanation. This will make your writing easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Do not begin a new sentence with “because”. Join it to the sentence before it, or write a full new sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one idea in each part. The second body part moves from being strong to communication to a heart problem. Choose one main point and explain it in order.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple links in a clear way: “First”, “For example”, “As a result”, and “In conclusion”. Do not use many links if the ideas are not fully joined.
coherence and cohesion
Your ending should restate your view and main reasons in one or two clear sentences. Do not add new ideas there.
task response
You give a clear view: you think this is a negative change.
task response
You use two main ideas: help in an accident and less contact with other people.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body parts, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words such as “For example”, “Also”, “Moreover”, and “To sum up”.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • live independently
  • small family unit
  • extended family
  • urban lifestyle
  • limited living space
  • high housing costs
  • personal privacy
  • greater independence
  • emotional support
  • social isolation
  • feel a sense of loneliness
  • share household responsibilities
  • childcare support
  • financial burden
  • care for elderly relatives
  • close family ties
  • a support network
  • busy working lives
  • maintain family relationships
  • outweigh the disadvantages
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