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Writing Samples
Band 7

The pie charts show information about energy production in a country in two separate years.

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The pie charts compare the proportions of
energy
Use synonyms
 produced from five different
sources
Use synonyms
 in a country in 1995 and 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
, coal and
gas
Use synonyms
 remained the two largest
sources
Use synonyms
 of
energy
Use synonyms
 in both years.
While
Linking Words
 the shares of coal and
gas
Use synonyms
 increased slightly over the decade, the proportion of
energy
Use synonyms
 generated from
petrol
Use synonyms
 declined considerably.
In contrast
Linking Words
, nuclear power and other
energy
Use synonyms
sources
Use synonyms
 became more significant. In 1995, coal was the leading source of
energy
Use synonyms
 production, accounting for 29.8%, closely followed by
gas
Use synonyms
 at 29.63% and
petrol
Use synonyms
 at 29.27%. These three fossil fuels together made up almost 89% of the country's
energy
Use synonyms
 production.
By comparison
Linking Words
, nuclear
energy
Use synonyms
 contributed only 6.4%,
while
Linking Words
 other
sources
Use synonyms
 represented the smallest proportion at 4.9%. By 2005, coal remained the largest contributor, increasing slightly to 30.93%,
while
Linking Words
gas
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 rose marginally to 30.31%.
However
Linking Words
, the percentage of
energy
Use synonyms
 produced from
petrol
Use synonyms
 fell significantly to 19.55%, a decrease of almost 10 percentage points. Meanwhile, nuclear
energy
Use synonyms
 experienced noticeable growth, rising to 10.1%, and the share of other
energy
Use synonyms
sources
Use synonyms
 nearly doubled to 9.1%. In summary,
although
Linking Words
 coal and
gas
Use synonyms
 continued to dominate
energy
Use synonyms
 production, the country became less dependent on
petrol
Use synonyms
 and increased its use of nuclear and other alternative
energy
Use synonyms
sources
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, sources, gas, petrol with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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