Completing university education vs developing life skills. Discuss which one is more important and provide your opinion.

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Completing
university
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education has become more prevalent as years have passed. With many educational institutes, world leaders, and parents enforcing the importance of completing
college
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, it is hard to deny that attending and completing
college
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has become a vital part of a human's schooling path.
However
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, there are
also
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many who would argue that attending
university
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is overly idealised, and that having practical life
skills
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is much more crucial in succeeding.
This
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essay will examine both the advantages and disadvantages of completing
college
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and developing soft
skills
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,
while
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also
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evaluating which side is considered to be more vital to
succeess
Correct your spelling
success
. Completing and earning a
university
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degree is seen as an achievement, as it proves the effort and intelligence of an individual.
In other words
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, one of the advantages of completing
academy
Correct article usage
an academy
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is that it acts as a certificate that validates all of the learning and efforts a man has put into a certain field of study.
However
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, it is
also
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seen as a pricey investment for most countries. In countries
such
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as the United States,
college
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is often associated with the word "student debt", as most students, after completing it, would have to repay all of their school fees.
However
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, without receiving any help from the government, a lower-middle to lower-class family would not be able to afford the luxury of attending
educational
Correct article usage
an educational
show examples
institution.
On the other hand
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, developing soft
skills
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is an overlooked concept, as most young adults nowadays believe that attending
college
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is a crucial part of growth.
However
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, what most do not know
,
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apply
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is that developing soft
skills
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will actually help a human succeed
further
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in being. By gaining experience in all fields, it helps a person
be
Wrong verb form
is
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able to face all the harsh realities life may throw at them. Not only that, but being able to have hands-on experience allows a person to become much more familiar with their field of work, which would eventually lead to them being able to rise up higher and quicker than most.
However
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, one of the downsides to not attending
university
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is that the greater opportunities become much more limited. Most employment opportunities nowadays require a certain level of literacy, which often means being a
university
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graduate. By not attending
college
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, the person may be a lot more restricted when it comes to things
such
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as receiving a bonus or getting a raise in their job. Moving on, it is
also
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crucial to evaluate which side is much more valuable nowadays. In my opinion, attending
university
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is much more valuable than gaining life experience.
This
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is
due to
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the ever-increasing number of requirements employers desire, which makes it hard for non-
university
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graduates to meet.
However
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, as mentioned previously,
university
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is often less accessible for people who are in the middle-lower to lower social classes. To amend
such
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problems, I believe that it is crucial to lower the barrier of entry
for
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to
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university
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, as everyone deserves an equal opportunity when it comes to education.
To conclude
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this
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essay,
college
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learning is often romanticised and idealised by most people in the modern world,
while
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gaining practical growth
skills
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is seen as unimportant and useless.
However
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, it is in my opinion that people should not be looked down upon for not attaining a
college
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degree, as most may not be as privileged as the ones who are able to afford attending
educational
Correct article usage
an educational
show examples
institution.

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task response
Overall score: 6. Your answer covers all parts of the question, but your main view is not fully developed. Explain more clearly why a degree is more important than life skills, and give one strong example for this point.
task response
Do not spend too much time on the bad sides of university. The question asks which is more important, so compare the two sides more directly.
task response
Some ideas are too wide or not clear, such as “succeed further in being” and “gaining experience in all fields”. Say what life skills you mean, for example money use, problem solving, or talking to people.
task response
Your last paragraph changes the focus. You say university is more important, but the ending mainly says people without a degree should not be judged. End by repeating your main answer in a direct way.
coherence and cohesion
Your order is mostly clear, but each main paragraph should begin with one simple main idea. Then add an example and explain how it supports that idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use fewer linking words when they do not add meaning. For example, “Moving on” is not needed. Clear topic sentences will make the essay flow better.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the same words for key ideas. You use “college”, “university”, “academy”, and “educational institution”. Choose “university” or “college” and use it most of the time.
coherence and cohesion
Make the ending match your opinion: “Although life skills are very useful, completing university is more important because many jobs need a degree.”
task response
You discuss both college and life skills, and you give a clear view: university is more important.
task response
You include a real example about student debt in the United States.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, main body parts, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
You use clear linking words, such as “However”, “On the other hand”, and “To conclude”.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • higher education
  • university degree
  • specialist knowledge
  • academic qualification
  • career prospects
  • long-term income
  • critical thinking
  • research skills
  • practical skills
  • life skills
  • financial management
  • independent living
  • problem-solving skills
  • effective communication
  • emotional maturity
  • workplace demands
  • well-rounded individual
  • balance theory and practice
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