"The availability of entertainment such as video games on handheld devices is harmful to individuals and the society they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?"

7.5 / 9

Band scoreView breakdown ↓

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Introduction

It is often argued that the widespread availability of online

video

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

on mobile devices poses significant disadvantages to individuals and society.

While

Linking Words

I acknowledge that gaming can foster certain cognitive and language skills, I largely agree that its negative impacts on health, productivity, and social cohesion are far more damaging.

Body paragraph 1

On the one hand, mobile

video

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

offer a few notable benefits.

Firstly

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, engaging in multiplayer online

games

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allows players to develop teamwork and communication skills, as they often collaborate with people from diverse cultural backgrounds.

This

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experience can

also

Linking Words

enhance foreign language proficiency through real-time interaction.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, strategic

games

Use synonyms

can sharpen problem-solving abilities and broaden cognitive horizons.

However

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, these benefits are only

realized

Change the spelling

realised

show examples

when gaming is done in moderation.

Body paragraph 2

On the other hand

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, the drawbacks of accessible handheld gaming heavily outweigh these advantages. The primary issue is addiction, which leads to a severe waste of time and reduced productivity. Many individuals, especially young adults, struggle to manage their daily schedules effectively, neglecting their studies or professional responsibilities.

Moreover

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, modern

video

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games

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often rely on microtransactions and in-game purchases that can incur exorbitant costs, putting financial pressure on players and their families.

Consequently

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, excessive gaming contributes to physical health problems,

such

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as a sedentary lifestyle, and weakens real-world social bonds.

Conclusion

In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

mobile

video

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games

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can provide recreational value and skill development if controlled, their potential to cause addiction, financial strain, and social isolation makes them

overall

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detrimental.

Therefore

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, individuals should strictly regulate their screen time to ensure a balanced lifestyle.

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Oct 3, 2026

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task response

You answer the question clearly and give a clear view: you mostly agree. To make the answer stronger, add one real or clear example. For example, show how a student may play late at night, miss class work, and feel tired the next day.

task response

Your main ideas are clear: health, work or study, money, and social life. Explain one or two of these points a little more, rather than naming many effects in a short space. This will make your case more full and more convincing.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear four-part shape: start, good side, bad side, and end. Keep this clear order in future writing.

coherence and cohesion

Your linking words are used well, such as “Firstly”, “Furthermore”, “However”, “Moreover”, and “Consequently”. Try not to depend too much on linking words at the start of sentences. You can also link ideas by repeating key words like “gaming”, “players”, or “screen time” in a natural way.

coherence and cohesion

The last main paragraph has several big ideas in one block: addiction, lost time, money, health, and social bonds. Split or group these ideas more clearly. For example, discuss time and health first, then money and family or social life.

task response

Your position is clear from the start and stays the same until the end. You also show balance by noting that games can help with skills when use is controlled.

task response

The points about study or work, money, health, and social life are all closely related to the question and help support your view.

coherence and cohesion

Each paragraph has a clear job, and the ending returns to your main view in a direct way.

coherence and cohesion

The move from possible good effects to the stronger bad effects is smooth and easy to follow.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

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​"The availability of entertainment such as video games on handheld devices is harmful to individuals and the society they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?"

Many people think children should not be punished at early ages. To what extend do you agree or disagree? What sort of punishment may be applied for children?

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Human activities have negative effects on plants and animal species. Some people think that it is too late to do anything about this problem. Other people believe that effective measures can be taken to improve this situation. Discuss both views and give your opinion

"The availability of entertainment such as video games on handheld devices is harmful to individuals and the society they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?"