Some think that developing a successful career is more important than spending time with family and friends, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give our own opinion.
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic → most
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to spend with their loved ones
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maybe can't just fit the
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. I think family plays crucel part in
, you should balance between both
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you can
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enough care.
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Score: 4. You answer the topic only in a short way. You need to discuss both sides: why a good career can be important, and why time with family and friends can be important.
Add clear reasons and examples. For example, a career can give money and a safe life. Family time can give love, help, and a happy life.
Give a full ending with your opinion. Say that work is important, but family and friends should not be left behind.
Score: 4. Use a clear four-part plan: first part for the topic and your view; second part for career; third part for family and friends; last part for your ending.
Use simple link words to join ideas: 'On one hand', 'On the other hand', 'For example', 'However', and 'In the end'.
Write full sentences and put one main idea in each part. Your text is now too short to show a clear flow of ideas.
You give your own view: family is very important and people should balance work and family time.
Your main idea is easy to see: work can take much time, but family and friends also need time.
Include an introduction and conclusion
A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.
The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.
The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:
- Summary
- Restatement of thesis
- Prediction or recommendation
Example:
To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.
Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:
- In conclusion
- To conclude
- To summarize
- Finally
- In a nutshell
- In general