These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children's behaviour. Do you agree or disagree?
In the present world, we are facing a growth of violence on the screen.
As a
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result
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result,
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pupils are getting more aggressive. I strongly agree that
this
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behavior
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behaviour
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comes from the content on TV. Analysing the rising numbers of
housholds
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households
with problems, as well
the
Correct word choice
as the
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time
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
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on watching movies
it
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,
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will prove
this
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thesis.
patrick.odermatt
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Task response
This is only an introduction, so it cannot fully answer the question yet. Add two body parts with clear reasons, such as children copying what they see and seeing violence as normal. Add a short ending that repeats your view.
Task response
Use a real or clear example. For example, a child may copy fighting after seeing it often on TV. This will make your point stronger.
Task response
Be careful with the idea about homes with problems. It may be a cause of aggressive behaviour, but it does not clearly prove that TV is the cause. Explain the link or use a more direct reason.
Coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words to guide the reader: 'First', 'Also', 'For example', and 'In the end'.
Coherence and cohesion
Some phrases are not clear. Instead of 'the time spend on watching movies', write 'the time spent watching violent TV shows'. Instead of 'this behavior', write 'this behaviour' or 'aggressive behaviour'.
Coherence and cohesion
Your last sentence is too long and has two ideas. Make it into two short sentences so the plan is easier to follow.
Task response
You give a clear view: you strongly agree that TV violence can make children more aggressive.
Coherence and cohesion
Your ideas have a clear order: TV violence, children’s behaviour, then reasons you plan to discuss.
Include an introduction and conclusion
A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.
The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.
The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:
Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation
Example:
To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported.After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.
Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:
Some people argue that every wild animal deserves protection, regardless of its population or economic value. Others believe that limited resources should be directed only towards endangered or particularly important species. While both perspectives have merit, I firmly believe that conserving all wild animals is the most effective way to maintain ecological balance and safeguard the natural world.
Nowadays, socialising through social media or the internet has gained popularity among youths. This is because of high technology such as the internet and mobile phones, allowing people to connect quickly and easily even at a distance. This essay will analyze the reasons behind this trend and present solutions.
Young people in today's generation are heavily dependent on information technology, and this can come with several drawbacks. Especially when it comes to their social abilities and physical well-being, which are highly valued across all generations of students.
To begin with, the ongoing debate over whether people's character is predominantly shaped by their genetics or environment has garnered significant attention. While genetic factors undeniably contribute to certain aspects of an individual's character, I am of the staunch belief that the environment exerts a greater influence in molding one's character.
Currently, it is commonplace for us to see that the public share their private details, such as names, addresses and other contact information, on the Internet to support their social accounts and banking processes. I think that this is a positive improvement.