IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that there should be a complete ban on all forms of advertising. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 I don't think there should be a ban on all forms of advertising because it helps a lot of
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a lot of ways of advertising weather it is by person, going door to door and suliseting or
online
Verb problem
using online
show examples
.
Check wording
methods.
show examples
 There
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
also
Linking Words
ads
Use synonyms
 on bilboards and
magazines
Punctuation problem
, magazines
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
news papers
Correct your spelling
newspapers
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 many companies advertise by having a database of phone numbers and emails, and I'm strongly against the ban for many reasons. One of them is that it helps
creating
Wrong verb form
create
show examples
 a large footfall to the businesses, and
people
Use synonyms
 can be aware of different activations, new launches or even concerts happening in the Reagon. We get a lot of
ads
Use synonyms
 on
ticktock
Fix capitalization
TikTok
show examples
, instagram and even Facebook
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 these days
ads
Use synonyms
 are generated based on your liking and the
individuals
Check wording
individual's
show examples
 algorithm
,
Punctuation problem
. For
show examples
for
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 if the consumer is searching for
beauty
Punctuation problem
beauty,
show examples
 they will
be getting
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
 more
ads
Use synonyms
 about
make up brans
Correct your spelling
makeup brands
or
Punctuation problem
, or
show examples
 if they are looking for
fashion
Punctuation problem
fashion,
show examples
 they will get advertisements on clothing brands and etcetra. These new ways help
link
Verb problem
bridge
show examples
 the gap between the consumer and the companies.
Secondly
Linking Words
, would understand to a certain
extend
Use the right word
extent
show examples
 why
people
Use synonyms
 would want it to be banned because in some branches they still use the old methods of pushing products to
people
Use synonyms
 by invading their privacy, some solicitors will ring the
door
Check wording
doorbell
show examples
 and ask to talk or do random phone calls
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 random times, and
that is
Linking Words
annoying
Punctuation problem
annoying,
show examples
therefore
Linking Words
 no one wants to be bothered in their
on
Correct word choice
own
show examples
 residence. In conclusion, I highly think that advertisement is a very good tool if used the right way to the right
people
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it can be a horrible one if used in the wrong way.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Score: 6. To get a higher score, explain your main reasons more fully. For example, say how ads help small business get new buyers, and why this can help jobs or local shops.
task response
Make your answer to “to what extent” stronger. You can say: “I disagree with a complete ban, but I support rules for ads that call people without consent or use private data.” This gives a clear, balanced view.
task response
Some ideas are repeated as lists of ad types. Use fewer lists and add more explanation. One strong example is better than many short examples.
coherence and cohesion
Score: 6. Put one main idea in each body paragraph. Body 1 can be about how ads help business and buyers. Body 2 can be about privacy and unwanted ads, then explain why rules are better than a full ban.
coherence and cohesion
Link some sentences more clearly. For example: “As a result, small firms can reach more people.” “However, this is not true of all ads.” “For this reason, the government should set clear rules.”
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion is good, but make it more direct. State your view again and give the main answer: no full ban; better rules are needed.
task response
Your view is clear: you do not agree with a full ban. You give two sides: ads can help business, but some ads can disturb people.
task response
You use useful examples, such as ads on social media, ads based on what people look for, door-to-door sales, and phone calls.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an end. Words such as “Firstly”, “Secondly”, “for example”, and “In conclusion” help the reader follow your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your last paragraph brings your main idea back: ads are good when they are used in the right way.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ban
  • advertising
  • information dissemination
  • economic growth
  • freedom of speech
  • misleading
  • consumerism
  • materialism
  • vulnerable populations
  • regulations
  • privacy concerns
  • cultural homogenization
  • media literacy
  • targeted ads
  • sustainable lifestyles
  • ethics codes
  • purchasing decisions
  • competition
  • innovation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: