IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Scientific developments in farming always bring major benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement ?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
It is believed that scientific innovations in agriculture have always
positive
Verb problem
had positive
show examples
 outcomes.
While
Linking Words
 many think
this
Linking Words
 way, I mostly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement. From my point of view, farming techniques can be quite dangerous for the yield that could ultimately lead to economic and ecological challenges.
Firstly
Linking Words
, heavy scientific innovations
results
Correct subject-verb agreement
result
show examples
 in profund damages towards the biodiversity. Especially, the pesticides and chemical
fertilizers
Change the spelling
fertilisers
show examples
 are ones that cause environmental degradation on
soil
Use synonyms
 and
spreaded
Verb problem
apply
show examples
traces can remain on food.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Moldova, the over-application of chemicals rapidly destroys the ultra-fertile chernozem ( black
soil
Use synonyms
).
Furtehrmore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,
due to
Linking Words
 these modern farming practices, over the decades, the
soil
Use synonyms
 is losing its organic matter, eventually causing erosion across the country’s arable lands
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 agricultural crops will not grow properly.
Secondly
Linking Words
, scientific and technological developments can cause financial problems for small family farms. Modern farming implies many expensive innovations,
such
Linking Words
 as various agricultural tools, irrigation systems,
machineries
Check wording
machinery,
show examples
 and others. To illustrate, in the Republic of
Moldova
Add a comma
Moldova,
show examples
 there is an economic imbalance.
While
Linking Words
 large agricultural conglomerates
afford
Verb problem
can afford
show examples
 these overpriced technologies for their harvests,
small holder
Correct your spelling
smallholder
 farmers cannot provide all the best
machineries
Check wording
machinery
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, small family farms resort to massive bank loans to
aquire
Correct your spelling
acquire
 the modern tools. Wherever natural disasters happen, these heavy debts trigger bankruptcies, forcing smallholders to sell their lands to corporations. In conclusion, scientific developments in farming cannot always bring advantages.
Consequently
Linking Words
, chemicals increase yields and
soil
Use synonyms
 damaging and those specific agricultural tools are not affordable for many farmers.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Estimated score: 6. Your answer is on topic and your view is clear. To get a higher score, explain more clearly why these results mean scientific farming does not always bring major benefits.
task response
Your first main point is good, but some claims need a clearer link. Say that chemicals may raise food output at first, but they can harm soil, water, food, and plant and animal life over time.
task response
Your second point is strong. Add one short line about the other side: new tools can help large farms grow more food, but the cost can hurt small farms. This will make “mostly disagree” more complete.
task response
The conclusion has an unclear idea: “chemicals increase yields and soil damaging”. Write the final point in a full, clear way: chemicals may increase yields, but they can also damage soil.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each body part. In body paragraph 1, start with the harm to nature, then explain the effect on soil, and then give the Moldova example.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are very long. Break them into two shorter sentences so the reader can follow your ideas more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Use links with clear meaning. For example, use “As a result” before the effect of soil loss, and use “This means that” before the result for small farms.
coherence and cohesion
Make the conclusion match the two body parts. Mention both harm to the land and high costs for small farms, then restate your view.
task response
You give a clear opinion: you mostly disagree. You give two main reasons: harm to land and money problems for small farms.
task response
Your examples about Moldova make your ideas more real and help support your points.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear four-part shape: introduction, two body parts, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use clear linking words, such as “Firstly”, “For instance”, “Furthermore”, “Secondly”, “Moreover”, and “In conclusion”.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: