IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries, adults are living with their parents after graduating or even after finding a job. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
In many countries today, many young adults still stay in their parents' house, even when they are in college or working. From my point of view, I believe there is nothing wrong with
this
Linking Words
, and the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. On the one hand, living with parents can have a few disadvantages.
For example
Linking Words
, some young adults might feel that they have less freedom or independence compared to living alone.
In addition
Linking Words
, relying on family for daily tasks can sometimes slow down learning essential skills.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the advantages are much greater.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it provides important emotional support. Some mothers get lonely when they have no one to talk to in the morning.
Also
Linking Words
, living alone can make people feel sad and stressed,
while
Linking Words
 having family to talk with after a long day helps reduce stress.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 type of living makes life much easier and helps young people save money for their future
instead
Linking Words
 of paying high rent.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 living with parents might limit independence slightly, it reduces stress, makes daily life easier, and provides strong emotional support.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I see that the advantages clearly outweigh the disadvantages.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Score: 7. Your answer is clear and stays on the topic. To get a higher score, explain each main point more. For example, say how saving money can help a young person buy a home, study more, or deal with hard times.
task response
Your example about mothers being lonely is a little narrow. Add a more general example about parents and young adults helping each other with money, food, house work, or care.
task response
Make the bad points stronger before you show why the good points are greater. For example, living at home may stop some young adults from making their own plans, cooking, paying bills, and making choices.
coherence and cohesion
Score: 7. The order is good, but some ideas need better links. The point about mothers being lonely comes suddenly. Link it more clearly to emotional support for both parents and young adults.
coherence and cohesion
Use one main idea in each part, then give an explanation and an example. This will make each part feel fuller and easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid saying the same idea in several ways at the end. You can make the last line more direct: “For these reasons, the advantages of living with parents are greater than the disadvantages.”
task response
You answer the question clearly. You say the good points are stronger than the bad points.
task response
You give both sides: less freedom and fewer life skills, then support, less stress, and saving money.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and a clear ending.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, “Firstly”, “Secondly”, and “To conclude” help the reader follow your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: