It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

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IIt
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It
is observed that in recent days,
people
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prefer to take
risks
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, and it is significant for them to take
risks
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both in their professional
lives
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and their personal
lives
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. I firmly believe that
this
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development is highly beneficial as
people
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will have
career
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growth and achieve milestones in their personal
lives
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, which significantly
outweighs
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outweigh
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the demerits. One primary benefit is that
people
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who take
risks
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shine in their careers. They can come up with various ideas for their
career
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betterment.
In addition
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, they prefer to
utilize
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utilise
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their IQ and implement it wisely.
As a result
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, they can make themselves different from others in their workplace.
For example
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, Sundar Pichai, CEO of Google, always took
risks
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to do better in his workplace from the beginning of his
career
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, and
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finally
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finally,
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he has achieved Google's CEO position.
Furthermore
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, taking
risks
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also
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opens doors in individuals' personal
lives
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. When they take
risks
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, they achieve something better which they have never thought of before. More specifically, if they commence a new business with a new idea, most often it could be successful.
As a result
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, taking
risks
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changes their
lives
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with
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for the better
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achievement
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. Without taking
risks
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in personal
lives
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, there will be no significant changes in their lifestyle or no
achievement
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.
Thus
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, it is substantially important for
people
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to take
risks
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in both their professional and personal
lives
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. Despite these clear advantages, it is important to acknowledge that taking
risks
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sometimes could be a negative step in
people
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's
lives
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. They can lose their job and
experience
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financial stress in their personal
lives
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. When individuals take
risks
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, there is a chance of getting a positive
outcome
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or a negative
outcome
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. If they
experience
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a negative
outcome
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,
then
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they will lose their job.
For instance
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, a UK-based tech company recently terminated 12 employees from their company
due to
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a negative
outcome
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in one project.
Moreover
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,
people
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also
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experience
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financial stress if they receive a negative
outcome
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from their
risks
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. Most of the
people
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prefer to purchase stocks from the share market. If the price goes down, they will
experience
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financial burden in their family.
However
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, these drawbacks are minor compared to
career
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growth and personal
achievement
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. In conclusion,
although
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losing a job and financial stress are notable drawbacks for
this
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trend, the merits of
career
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growth and
achievement
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in individuals' personal
lives
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exceed the demerits.

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task response
Score: 6. Your answer is on topic and gives both sides, but some ideas need more care. Saying a new business “most often” will be a success is too strong and may not be true. Say that it can bring success if the person plans well.
task response
Make the main point stronger: risks are good when they are planned, not when people act without care. This will make your answer more balanced and more convincing.
task response
The work example needs a clearer link. Explain what risk Sundar Pichai took and how it helped him. Also, the example about 12 workers is not very clear: were they fired because of their own risk, or because the company had a bad project?
coherence and cohesion
Score: 6. The order is clear, but some parts repeat the same point. In the first body part, career growth and personal success are said many times. Use one clear main idea, then explain it, then give one example.
coherence and cohesion
Some links do not show the right meaning. “In addition” is used when you add a new point, but the next line is still about the same career idea. Use “For this reason” or “They may also” where needed.
coherence and cohesion
Keep work risks and personal risks separate. The second body part moves from job loss to money loss, but the link is not fully clear. Start a new paragraph or use a clear first sentence for each kind of risk.
overall
Overall score: 6. To reach 7, give more exact reasons, use safer claims, and make each example clearly support the point before it.
task response
You give a clear view: the good points are greater than the bad points. You also talk about both work and personal life.
task response
You include examples, such as Sundar Pichai, a tech company, and stocks. These help show your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an ending. The reader can follow your main line.
coherence and cohesion
You use link words such as “For example”, “As a result”, “Moreover”, “However”, and “In conclusion”.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
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