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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many workplaces, online communication is now more common than face-to-face meetings. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

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At modern workplaces, online ways of communication are often preferred over traditional face-to-face meetings. Using digital ways for official conversations,
i
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I
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 believe bring more benefits than drawbacks. First and foremost, technological
advancement
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advancements
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 are proceeding at
rapid
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a rapid
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 speed, which
consequently
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 bring lot of changes in common practices
, once
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. Once
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 humans have adapt
them
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them,
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 they can benefit from it big time. Sitting in
comfortable
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a comfortable
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 office and attending sessions with clients and coworkers
,
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apply
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 significantly
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
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 costs. By using digital devices
company
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, company
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 representatives do not have to travel
both domestic
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domestically
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 or
international
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internationally
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 to participate in business meetings
which
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, which
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 saves
considerable
Correct article usage
a considerable
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 amount of time
of
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for
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 both parties.
For instance
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, work
presentation related
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presentation-related
 apps
such
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 as Microsoft
teams
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Teams
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, Zoom and
google meet
Capitalize the proper name
Google Meet
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 have shown steep upward growth in recent times.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, online communication has
open
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opened
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 up multiple
mode
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modes
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 of working, work or
study
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studying
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 from home has become very common in recent times.
World
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The world
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 has
face
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faced
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 multiple serious issues
off
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of
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 late
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such
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, such
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 as Covid19 and geopolitical uncertainty
,
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;
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 electronic networking was major source of keeping
connection
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connections
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 around the globe intact. Another pertinent reason of popularity of cyber transmission is that
,
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apply
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 it has increased the productivity of employees, reports and assignments can be
process
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processed
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 around the clock
and
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, and
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 submission is possible on
moment’s
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a moment’s
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 notice. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 online communication can never replace
physical
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the physical
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 essence of human interaction in
corporate
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the corporate
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 sector. But its benefits are
un countable
Correct your spelling
countless
 in
current
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the current
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 era, and with
continues
Replace the word
continuous
 improvement perks of cyber transmission are expected to boost
further
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which
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, which
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 are not limited to
corporate
Correct article usage
the corporate
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 sector only.

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task response
Score: 5. Your answer is on the topic, but it does not fully answer “outweigh”. You should name some bad points, then say clearly why the good points are stronger.
task response
Add one clear bad point. For example, online talks can have weak internet, less personal contact, or more misunderstanding.
task response
Explain each main point more. Do not only say that online talks save time; say how this helps both workers and the company.
task response
Your example of Teams, Zoom, and Google Meet is on topic, but it does not prove your point well. Give a real work example, such as a firm meeting a client in another country in one hour.
coherence and cohesion
Score: 5. Some ideas are hard to follow because there are many grammar mistakes and some sentences are too long.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each body part. Body 1 can be about time and cost. Body 2 can be about work from home and the bad points.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words: “First”, “Also”, “However”, “For example”, and “Therefore”. Do not use too many long linking phrases.
coherence and cohesion
Make your end more direct: “The advantages outweigh the disadvantages because online communication saves more time and money than the problems it causes.”
task response
You give a clear view: online communication has more good points than bad points.
task response
You use useful main ideas, such as less travel, less cost, more time, and work from home.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an end.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “First and foremost”, “Furthermore”, and “In conclusion” help the reader follow your ideas.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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