IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The money spent by governments on space programmes would be better spent on vital public services such as schools and hospitals. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Some people see that
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
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 more
in
Change preposition
on
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 education and healthcare
more
Rephrase
apply
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instead
Linking Words
 of investing in space
programmers
Check wording
programs
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. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 because better
schools
Use synonyms
 and hospitals mean that the country will be more developed in the future.
On
Use the right word
One
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 of the main necessity thing
government
Use synonyms
 should invest in is
schools
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, in order to improve the quality of education.
Schools
Use synonyms
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
show examples
 more
develop
Replace the word
developed
 technology to be used.
For example
Linking Words
, they can invest in very
high quality
Correct your spelling
high-quality
 computers for students to improve the quality of research.As well, that can
effect in
Use the right word
affect
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 employment opportunities in the student’s future, and that
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
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 to
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
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the
Change preposition
in the
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country
Check wording
country's
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 economy and
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 it stronger.
In addition
Linking Words
, spending more money
in
Change preposition
on
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 public healthcare will help to improve the health
life
Check wording
of the population
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.
Use synonyms
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
 should
also
Linking Words
 focus more in develop the hospitals and make it better for people. So that everyone can have access to better treatment and have good
service
Check wording
apply
show examples
medical staff.In
fact
Add a comma
fact,
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 China has a statistic in 2024 that confirms the number of
population
Check wording
people
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 has risen when they invest more in healthcare facilities.
However
Linking Words
, space programs
plays
Correct subject-verb agreement
play
show examples
 an essential part in our lives, I do not think it deserves to be the most
government
Use synonyms
 investment. In the end,  
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good public services have an important effect on our lives. I believe that the more we spend
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 
schools
Use synonyms
 and hospitals
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
 more economic growth will come in the future.

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overall score
Estimated score: 5. Your main ideas are clear, but they need more full support and more careful development.
task response
Explain more clearly why money for space should be less important than money for public services. Your view is clear, but the space point is only very short.
task response
Give one full example for each main idea. For schools, say how computers, trained teachers, or books can help students get better jobs. For hospitals, say how more doctors or new tools can save lives.
task response
Be careful with the China example. It is not clear and may not be true. Use a simple general example if you do not know the exact facts.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body part follow one clear order: main point, why it matters, example, and result. This will make your ideas easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer links between ideas. For example: “First”, “As a result”, “Also”, and “However”.
coherence and cohesion
Your last part repeats your view, which is good. Make it stronger by also saying again that space work can be useful, but public needs should come first.
task response
You give a clear view: you agree that schools and hospitals should get more money.
task response
You write about both main areas: schools and health care.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an end.
coherence and cohesion
You use simple links such as “For example”, “In addition”, and “In the end”.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • governments
  • money
  • public services
  • schools
  • hospitals
  • space programmes
  • vital
  • agree
  • disagree
  • future generations
  • education
  • skilled workforce
  • investing
  • healthcare
  • disease
  • society
  • luxury
  • basic needs
  • scientific knowledge
  • immediate needs
  • prioritizing
  • quality of life
  • well-being
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