IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The Internet has changed the world today. Many think it is amazing and has improved life while others believe it has caused many problems. Give both advantages and disadvantages of the internet.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
There's
Correct subject-verb agreement
There are
show examples
 two sides of how the internet changed the world
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 On one hand,
It
Fix capitalization
it
show examples
 can cause anxiety and insecurity
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
For example
Linking Words
, Compairing your self to others
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
 how you look,
Your
Fix capitalization
your
show examples
 music taste.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
The
Fix capitalization
the
show examples
 internet has created many jobs that are physically easier
compaired
Correct your spelling
compared
 to manual
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
For example
Linking Words
,
You
Fix capitalization
you
show examples
 can work at home and at
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 time
you
Verb problem
that suits you
show examples
like,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 In my honest
opinon
Correct your spelling
opinion
,
The
Fix capitalization
the
show examples
 internet has made our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
overall
Linking Words
 easier,because the opportunities it gives outweigh the stress it sometimes
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Overall score: 5. Your answer is relevant, but it is too short for a full IELTS Task 2 essay. Add more ideas and explain each idea more.
task response
For the bad side, explain how comparing yourself with other people can cause anxiety and low self-worth. Give one more example, such as false news, less privacy, or too much time online.
task response
For the good side, explain why working from home can help people. For example, it can save travel time and help parents spend more time with their children.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clear four-part plan: introduction, disadvantages, advantages, and conclusion. This will make the answer easier to read.
coherence and cohesion
Start each main paragraph with a clear first sentence. For example: “One disadvantage of the internet is that it can make people feel worried about themselves.”
coherence and cohesion
Use simple joining words to show the link between ideas: “because”, “also”, “as a result”, and “for this reason”.
coherence and cohesion
Do not put commas between full sentences. Use full stops more often. This will make your writing clearer.
task response
You give both sides: stress from comparing yourself with others, and easier work and more jobs.
task response
Your examples are clear and related to the main ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The phrases “On one hand” and “On the other hand” help the reader follow your two main points.
coherence and cohesion
You end with your own clear view that the good points are stronger than the bad points.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: