The chart below shows world energy consumption from 1965 to 2013.

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The graph illustrates international consumption of energy between 1965 and 2013.
Overall
Linking Words
, the study is about oil, coal, natural gas, nuclear,hydroelectricity, and renewables.The figure shows that oil was recording the highest proportions during the period,
while
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renewables was sginificantley the smallest amount among all six types of efficiency. In 1980, oil started with small amounts
Punctuation problem
,
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with just below 2000
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
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,
then
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suddenly increased in 1970
with
Change preposition
to
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3000
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
, after that gradually grew until reaching the largest amount
approximately
Punctuation problem
, approximately
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around
Rephrase
apply
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4000
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
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.
However
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, renewables were reaching their lowest account over all years with just around 1% by 2010.
Furthermore
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, the remaining energy reported that
;
Punctuation problem
apply
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coal was the second largest
consuming
Replace the word
consumer
throughout the years with more than 3000
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
in 2010.
While
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natural gas , hydroelectricity, and nuclear
significantly
Check wording
energy significantly
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dropped energy consumption
at the end
Linking Words
of the period , with just between 2000 and 1000
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
. respectively.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words million, tonnes with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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