A freiend of yours is thinking of going on a camping holiday for the first time this summer. He has asked for your advice. Write a letter to your friend. the letter, - explain why you think your friend would enjoy a camping holiday - describe some possible disadvantages - say whether you would like to go camping with your friend this summer

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Dear Archie, I hope you're doing well. I'm happy to hear that you are thinking of going
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
camping for the very first time
this
Linking Words
summer. I wanted to provide some details on why you will have
wonderful
Correct article usage
a wonderful
show examples
holiday there, and some possible downsides of it. I would definitely love to join you.
Firstly
Linking Words
, I would
recommed
Correct your spelling
recommend
you to visit Algonquin
park
Capitalize the proper name
Park
show examples
for camping. Not only
has it
Correct word order
does it have a
show examples
scenic view
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
it
also
Linking Words
has a lot of activities you could do
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
as kayaking and canoeing. Since
this
Linking Words
will be your first time, you would enjoy staying in
tent
Correct article usage
a tent
show examples
and having a meal in campsite. Do not
forgot
Wrong verb form
forget
show examples
to book
campsite
Correct article usage
a campsite
show examples
online,
otherwise
Linking Words
you will have to pay extra offline.
However
Linking Words
, I would want to describe possible disadvantages. There will be bugs in that park,
washroom
Correct article usage
the washroom
show examples
will not be as clean as you expect
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
most
importantly
Punctuation problem
importantly,
show examples
there could be bears roaming in
park
Correct article usage
the park
show examples
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
could be dangerous. I will
advice
Replace the word
advise
you to pack all food items
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
night and keep your tent clean. You don't have to worry
,
Punctuation problem
; you
show examples
just have to be cautious when going for the first time. I'd love to join you if you're planning to go on
this
Linking Words
long weekend
that is
Linking Words
on 7th
september
Capitalize the proper name
September
show examples
. We can
also
Linking Words
invite our other friends and enjoy the day off. Hope to see you soon! Best regards, Taylor

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer all three parts more fully. Say more about why camping is fun, the bad points, and why you want to go with Archie.
task response
Use a few more clear details. For example, say what you will do at the park and how you will stay safe from bears.
coherence and cohesion
Make the second body part into two parts: one for the good things and one for the bad things. This will make the letter easier to read.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear link words such as “Also”, “However”, “Because of this”, and “Finally” to join your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph. The long middle paragraph has advice, good points, bad points, and safety rules together.
task response
You answer all three parts of the letter: good points, bad points, and going with your friend.
task response
You give useful, real ideas, such as kayaking, booking online, bugs, and bears.
coherence and cohesion
The letter has a clear start, body, and end.
coherence and cohesion
Your greeting and closing are friendly and right for a letter to a friend.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
What to do next:
Look at other essays: