Some believe that pets should stay at home at all times, while others feel they should be allowed outside the home. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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It is widely acknowledged that places play a crucial role in looking after a pet.
While
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a significant number of
people
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believe that indoor living provides an effective method to take care of a pet, others argue that
pets
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ought to feel free to go outside of homes. I strongly believe that
the
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apply
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going outside is vital for
pets
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because they can discover new scents and new
friends
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, which are significant for their mental health.
This
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essay will elaborate on both sides and my position with relevant arguments and examples. On the one hand, the outdoors has a great impact on
pets
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' psychology.
This
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is because being outdoors creates a considerable space where
pets
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interact with their
friends
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and smell new scents, which in turn makes them calm and enthusiastic for life.
For instance
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, dogs who play with their
friends
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and spend time outside are calmer than their peers who are taken care of at home.
This
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demonstrates that access to outdoor space is directly linked to a pet's
overall
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well-being.
On the other hand
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, one of the main advantages of keeping animals indoors is that these places provide more comfortable and safe zones.
This
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is particularly useful for them because they can
be
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get
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lost in the streets or other non-friendly
pets
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can attack them. As they are staying at home,
people
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can prevent them from some threats and dangers. To illustrate, when cats go
to
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apply
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outside without any
supervisor
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supervision
in Turkey, they become vulnerable because street dogs can attack them.
As a result
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, cat owners should keep
activites
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activities
indoors for their beloved
friends
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. In conclusion,
although
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some
people
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think that
people
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should keep their animals indoors, I firmly maintain that
pets
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should feel free when they need to go outside because they can meet their
friends
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and discover the environment by sniffing, allowing them to stay mentally healthy.

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task response
Score: 6. Your answer covers all parts of the question, but develop each side more fully. Explain why indoor life may be best for some pets, such as cats, old pets, or pets near busy roads.
task response
Your examples fit your ideas, but make them more real and clear. For example, say that a dog can go outside with its owner, rather than saying pets should be free to go out at any time.
task response
Your own view is clear, but it is too strong. A better view may be: pets need outside time, but owners should watch them or use a lead. This also answers the safety point well.
coherence and cohesion
Score: 6. The order is easy to follow, but the first body part supports your view and the second gives the other view. This is fine, yet make the link between the two parts stronger by saying that both health and safety matter.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because the words are not in a natural order. For example, change “the going outside is vital for pets” to “going outside is vital for pets”.
coherence and cohesion
Use words in a more exact way. Change “places play a crucial role” to “where pets live is important”. Change “keep activites indoors” to “keep cats indoors”.
coherence and cohesion
Do not repeat “friends” and “new scents” too much. Add other points, such as exercise, sunlight, traffic, illness, and fights with other animals.
task response
You discuss both sides and give a clear view: pets should go outside.
task response
Your main ideas are clear: outside time can help pets feel well, while home can keep them safe.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
You use clear links such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, “For instance”, and “In conclusion”.
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