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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In an increasingly interconnected world, international travel has become more accessible than ever. What are some beneficial effects of international travel on an individual?

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Introduction
In the modern world, there are multiple ways to direct how you want to travel across the globe, which would have been unimaginable in our grandparents' generation.
Body paragraph 1
This
Linking Words
 essay will touch on the benefits and drawbacks of guided journeys.
Body paragraph 2
On the one hand, there are a number of positive sides of having a tour guide to lead you
while
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 going on a trip. They assist individuals not to worry about any problems that can arise
while
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 booking
airplane
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aeroplane
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 tickets or hotel reservations, modifying the
itinerary
Punctuation problem
itinerary,
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 as issues regarding these matters will be handled by the agency.
Furthermore
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, they can
also
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 benefit from the
expertize
Replace the word
expertise
 in local history, skip-the-line access
as
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, as
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 they have the upper hand in prior
traveling
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travelling
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 experience.
Body paragraph 3
On the other
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hand
Add a comma
hand,
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 guided tours can bring disadvantages, too. One of these is the hectic schedule that combines a lot of demanding activities in a
full
Punctuation problem
full,
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 fast-paced environment.
This
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 can be a drawback for some, as they might want to spend more time sightseeing
while
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 taking pictures, learning about its history and significance. Another disadvantage is pricing. When you
self-plan
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self-plan,
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 you are less likely to spend money,
whereas
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 guide companies add markups for guides, staff and advertising
,
Correct word order
. Also,
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also
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 one thing most people disdain is hidden charges that shock them later.
Conclusion
In conclusion, it is evident from these factors that guided tours have made
traveling
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travelling
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 uncomplicated and delightful.
However
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,
this
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 type of excursion might not be
suitabl
Correct your spelling
suitable
 for everybody, as it can
also
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 backfire and not meet personal expectations.

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task response
Main problem: you do not answer the question. The question asks about the good effects of international travel on a person. Your essay is about guided tours and their good and bad points. This makes your score much lower.
task response
Write about people changing through travel: they can learn about other ways of life, become more open, gain more trust in themselves, and make new friends. Give one simple real example for each main idea.
task response
Do not add drawbacks unless the question asks for both good and bad points. Here, focus only on benefits of international travel.
coherence and cohesion
Keep every paragraph linked to the exact question. Your first line is about travel across the world, but the next line changes the topic to guided journeys.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple plan: Paragraph 1: learning about other people and places. Paragraph 2: personal growth, such as more trust and better life skills. End: restate the two main benefits.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are too long and have many ideas at once. Make them shorter. For example, split the sentence about cost into two or three short sentences.
task response
You give clear good and bad points about guided travel, such as help with plans, local knowledge, busy plans, and cost.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an end. The use of 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' helps the reader follow your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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