IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

some people think that the government should provide free public libraries in every town, while others think this is a waste of money because people can get access the information on the internet. Discuss both these views and give own opinion.

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In
this
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 modern world, education is more important than anything else , but
this
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 can not happen without excellent libraries including books, computers, computeres and articles. The Ministry of Education and Government plays a major role to ehance
this
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 facilities in the whole port ot country. In
this
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 essay, we will argue that it is necessary to have these libraries in urban and rural areas , and
then
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 give
my
Fix the agreement mistake
our
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 personal opinion. On one hand, digital
library
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 are plays an essential role in enhancing our country's studies and
bulid
Correct your spelling
build
 our self before our country.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 is the reason why ministery of education make the
library
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 available in the universities, or even in international schools, but
still
Correct determiner usage
the
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 traditional
library
Use synonyms
still
Verb problem
is still
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 important since there are many dairies not transformate but in a countryside traditioanl libraries are more than enough since they do not have international universities, electronic companies, and modern systems at all.
For instance
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, usually in the urban and rural
areas
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areas,
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 had minie population with limited ambition to bring the digital
library
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 or any AI system
leads
Correct pronoun usage
, which leads
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 to waste time, money, and effort.
On the other hand
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, at
this
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time
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time,
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 the internet makes the impossible possible. I can read many books from Google without
subscribe
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subscribing
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, youtube have many channels to teach many academic skills, and even
there
Correct word choice
though there
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 are many workshops and courses with discounts, all these activities can play the same role for
library
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. But still big
library
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 is considered a human right for the simple people who can not have the same opportunities with colluaeges In my opinion, especially with AI application we can have the same knowledge
for
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as
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 doctors, engnieereing and whatever you want to be no need to have a digital
library
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 in a countryside organisation because in loose many only

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task response
You discuss both sides and give your own view, which is good. However, your view is not fully clear. State clearly if the government should pay for libraries in every town, or if internet access is enough.
task response
Keep your ideas close to the question. The question is about free public libraries, but you often talk about school and university libraries. Explain why public libraries help all people, such as children, older people, and people without internet at home.
task response
Develop each main idea with a clear reason and a simple example. For example, a public library can give free books, quiet study space, and computers to people who cannot pay for them.
task response
Be careful with claims about the internet and AI. The internet can give much information, but not all information is true or free. Also, not everyone has a phone, computer, or good internet.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clearer four-part plan: introduction; reasons for libraries; reasons for internet use; your opinion and conclusion. This will make your answer easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Start each paragraph with one clear main idea. Then add two or three sentences to explain it. Do not move between public libraries, school libraries, AI, and country life too quickly.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words correctly: 'On the one hand', 'For example', 'However', 'As a result', and 'In conclusion'. Make sure each link shows the right connection between ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your last paragraph ends too suddenly. Finish with a clear final sentence that repeats your opinion, such as: 'Therefore, the government should provide small free libraries in every town, while also improving internet access.'
task response
You understand the two views in the question: libraries can support learning, while the internet can give easy access to information.
task response
You include a personal opinion and try to explain the different needs of towns and country areas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction and uses clear paragraph signals such as 'On one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In my opinion'.
coherence and cohesion
You try to give examples, including online books, YouTube lessons, and people who may not have the same chances as others.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • public libraries
  • physical and digital resources
  • community hubs
  • educational and cultural activities
  • tailored information
  • literacy and lifelong learning
  • costly
  • urgent social needs
  • vast amounts of information
  • readily accessible
  • digitalization
  • under-utilized
  • inefficient use of public funds
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