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Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart Below shows the percentage of adults of different age group in the uk who used the internet everyday form 2003-2004

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The diagram below delineates the proportion of adults among various
age
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 categories in the UK who accessed the internet on a daily basis between 2003 and 2006.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clearly seen that the usage of the internet on a daily basis increased steadily over the
four year
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four-year
 period,
while
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 the proportion of digital access reduced moderately as
age
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 rose. In terms of the 16-24
age
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group
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, the figure stood at 80% in 2003 and rose to a peak of approximately 89% in 2005, before falling back slightly to 85% by 2006.
Similarly
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, the 25-44
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 witnessed a marginal increase, from 70% to 80%, over the same period. Regarding remaining
age
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 groups, the 45-54
age
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group
Use synonyms
,
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 climbed from 55% in 2003 to 68% in 2004, despite a slight dip in 2005 to 60%, before rising to almost 70% in 2006. Meanwhile, the 55-64
age
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group
Use synonyms
 grew from 32% in 2003 to 55% in 2006. As for the 65+
age
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group
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, which registered the most striking change,
initially
Linking Words
 starting at 4%,before increasing to nearly 20% in 2006.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, group with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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