IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Nowadays, people around the world are becoming more and more similar because they share the same products, technologies, food and lifestyles. Is this a positive or negative development?

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In our globalised and fast paced word
countries
Punctuation problem
, countries
show examples
 develop more and more to produce
high quality
Correct your spelling
high-quality
 products. And it means that republics may be similar. It haves and negative and positive effects for
considers
Replace the word
consideration
. As
regard as
Replace the word
regards
 the science of biology and chemistry is grown
up
Rephrase
apply
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faster than
population
Correct article usage
the population
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 in Germany. Take for e[ample, in
American's
Replace the word
America's
 factory was making meat from 3D. Some people believe that the technology is
sufficently modernized
Correct your spelling
sufficiently modernised
 and soon, it will be in Asian nations. In my view
of point
Check wording
apply
show examples
, it is
badly
Correct word choice
bad
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 news for our tradition and showplaces. But many people desire
be
Verb problem
to be
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 similar. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
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 hand, being
duplicate have
Correct word order
duplicated also has a
show examples
also
Linking Words
 positive side in social media and business conditions of financial profit.
While
Linking Words
 food have drawback states in
sphere
Correct article usage
the sphere
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 of junk food.
As
Change preposition
For
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 example, in Uzbekistan
the
Punctuation problem
, the
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 traditional meals like pilav and narin
able
Verb problem
are able
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 to diminish, by the time humberger or hot dogs
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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generally renowned for adults. And it
haves dramatically change in income
Correct word order
has changed in income dramatically
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. Because
of
Change preposition
apply
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fast food is not
organic
Correct article usage
an organic
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 meal for our health. In conclusion, it will be better to
remain
Verb problem
retain
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 our history and tradition
for being independence
Replace the word
to be independent
 from others. Even
it
Correct word choice
if it
show examples
less pay
Correct subject-verb agreement
pays
show examples
 more than being similar. как думаещь что за тема была

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task response
Make your main answer clear in the first part. Say if you think this is mainly a good or bad change, then give two clear reasons.
task response
Explain the good side in more detail. You say social media and business are good, but you do not say how sharing the same things helps people or countries.
task response
Keep each example close to one main idea. The 3D meat example needs a clearer link to why countries are becoming alike and why this is bad.
task response
Avoid ideas that are hard to understand, such as “biology and chemistry is grown up faster than population in Germany.” Use simple, direct ideas about shared food, tech, and ways of life.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic sentences at the start of each main part. For example: “One bad effect is the loss of local food and culture.”
coherence and cohesion
Put ideas in a clear order: main point, reason, example, and short result. This will help the reader follow your meaning.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words correctly. Write “On the other hand” with “the”, and do not join many different ideas in one long sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Make the final part match the main parts. If you say the change has both good and bad sides, sum up both before giving your final view.
task response
You give a clear view that this change can harm local food, history, and tradition. You also include both good and bad sides.
task response
Your examples of 3D meat, fast food, pilav, and narin are linked to the topic and make your ideas more real.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an opening, two main parts, and a final part. The final part clearly returns to your main view.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words, such as “For example”, “On the other hand”, “While”, and “In conclusion”.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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