IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the country side What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve the situation ?

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leaving
Capitalize the word
Leaving
show examples
 the countryside to live in cities and towns
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 often a subject for debate,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 many
politicals arguing about it
Correct word order
politicians argue about
show examples
 in
conferences
Punctuation problem
conferences,
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 because
this
Linking Words
issues
Fix the agreement mistake
issue
show examples
 can
leads
Wrong verb form
lead
show examples
 to many problems we will
discusse togather
Correct your spelling
discuss together
. In my view, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 three
a
Correct article usage
apply
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crucial reasons behind
that
Fix the agreement mistake
those
show examples
 issues, one of them is that seeking
for
Change preposition
apply
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a comfortable
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and clean environment .
Moreover
Linking Words
,
environment
Correct article usage
an environment
show examples
witout
Correct your spelling
without
 air pollution, water pollution , and plastic pollution,
this
Linking Words
 is what the indiviuals needs for health and for
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 whole
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
.
Second,
Linking Words
higher education is
most
Correct determiner usage
one of the main
show examples
 reasons to leave your family, rural, and the countryside
that
Correct pronoun usage
where
show examples
 you
had borne
Wrong verb form
were born
show examples
 because usually in
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 areas education
has
Wrong verb form
is
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 limited.
Third,
Linking Words
money
the
Verb problem
is the
show examples
 main goal
everyone
Correct pronoun usage
that everyone
show examples
 in a communities tryes to
achievable
Wrong verb form
achieve
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the population are lived on capital cities with high numerous than in a town or a rural area.
Crowded is
Wrong verb form
Crowding
show examples
 leads to
environment pollutions
Replace the word
environmental pollution
,
distrupute
Correct subject-verb agreement
disrupts
show examples
 viruses... etc , which
requied
Wrong verb form
requires
show examples
 a substantial budget to control the
contrabution
Correct your spelling
contribution
. To solve
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
problems
Punctuation problem
problems,
show examples
 there is one way , which is
built
Wrong verb form
to build
show examples
 the whole country with more facilities in several sections
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as health, education, and slaray tend
to
Punctuation problem
, to
show examples
 be more indiviuals satisfaction,
then
Linking Words
 it will decrease the
crowded
Replace the word
crowding
 in capital cities year by year,
provide
Correct word choice
and provide
show examples
 more opportunities for the whole
socities
Check wording
society
show examples
.

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Task response
Answer both parts in a clear way. Your main body gives reasons why young people move, but the question asks about the problems this causes. Add clear problems, such as farms having too few workers, old people living alone, and small towns losing shops and services.
Task response
Give more than one solution. For example, the state can improve schools, hospitals, roads, and jobs in the countryside. It can also give money to new small businesses and help young people find work near home.
Task response
Explain each point with a short example. For example: if young people leave, old farmers may not be able to do all the farm work, so food may cost more.
Task response
Keep your ideas on the exact question. The part about clean air does not fit well, because cities often have more pollution than the countryside.
Coherence and cohesion
Use a simple four-part plan: introduction, problems, solutions, conclusion. This will make your answer easier to follow.
Coherence and cohesion
Start each body paragraph with one clear main idea. Then explain it and give an example before moving to the next idea.
Coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully: "First", "Also", "As a result", and "For example". Do not join many different ideas in one very long sentence.
Coherence and cohesion
Write a short ending that sums up your answer. State that better jobs and services in rural areas can help young people stay.
Task response
You give some real reasons why young people may move, such as study and money.
Task response
You suggest improving health, education, and jobs outside big cities.
Coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an opening, a main discussion, and a solution paragraph.
Coherence and cohesion
You try to use linking words such as "Moreover", "Second", and "Therefore".
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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