IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it very difficult to study/work. Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In the letter: describe the situation explain your problems and why it is difficult to study/work say what kind of accommodation you would prefer

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to describe some issues with my current accommodation arrangement, as sharing a
room
Use synonyms
 with another student is making it difficult to study.
Firstly
Linking Words
, my name is Taylor,
I
Correct word choice
and I
show examples
enrolled in
Business
Correct article usage
the Business
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 Analyst course. I have been living here since
last
Linking Words
 two months. My
roommate
Check wording
roommate's
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 friends stay overnight, not only do they make noise
while
Linking Words
 playing online games, but
also
Linking Words
 they watch movies
on
Change preposition
at
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 full volume. Even
there
Correct word choice
though there
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 are some privacy concerns, as
this
Linking Words
room
Use synonyms
 is not spacious that it can accommodate three to four people.
Due to
Linking Words
 all these problems, I am not able to concentrate on my studies.
This
Linking Words
 might lead to
lower
Correct article usage
a lower
show examples
 score in my examination. I would prefer to change my accommodation, and would like to stay in
quiet
Correct article usage
a quiet
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 private
room
Use synonyms
. I would appreciate it if you
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
 address my situation and change my
room
Use synonyms
 as soon as possible. I am looking
foward
Correct your spelling
forward
 to
hear
Wrong verb form
hearing
show examples
 back. Yours sincerely, Taylor

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task response
Add a little more detail about what you need, such as a single room or a room with a quiet student. Also ask when the move can happen.
task response
Use more formal words. For example, say “my roommate’s friends” and “a lower result in my exams”.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main point in each part. First give your course and stay time. Then explain noise and privacy. Last, make your request.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more clearly with words such as “As a result”, “In addition”, and “Therefore”.
coherence and cohesion
Check short sentences and word forms. For example: “I have been living here for the last two months” and “I look forward to hearing from you”.
task response
You describe the room problem, explain how it harms your study, and ask for a quiet private room.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter has a clear start, a main body, and a polite ending. The greeting and closing are suitable.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • shared accommodation
  • college residence
  • roommate
  • limited space
  • lack of privacy
  • quiet environment
  • study space
  • concentrate on coursework
  • prepare for exams
  • late-night noise
  • disturb my sleep
  • academic performance
  • personal belongings
  • a single room
  • a quieter room
  • move to another room
  • suitable arrangement
  • consider my request
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