In many parts of the world, children and teenagers are spending more and more of their time indoors. What do you think are the causes of this problem ? What measures could best be taken to solve it ?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →

Nowadays, in many countries, young people are constantly spending most of their

time

Use synonyms

inside

Change preposition

indoors

show examples

. The essay will discuss that

this

Linking Words

trend is mainly caused by excessive screen

time

Use synonyms

technologies, and its solution is promoting outdoor

activities

Use synonyms

. One of the main causes of

this

Linking Words

problem is excessive use of electronic devices. Today, more and more children and teenagers are becoming addicted to various devices, including smartphones, computers, and tablets. By doing so, they are creating their own comfort zone at home, and are reducing their

time

Use synonyms

outdoor

Replace the word

outdoors

. To illustrate, children do not know

now

Rephrase

apply

show examples

the true happiness when it comes to free

time

Use synonyms

outside.

This

Linking Words

could be caused by the lack of safe

special

Replace the word

specially

designed places, like playgrounds, or busy parents who cannot pay

attention enough

Correct word order

enough attention

show examples

to their children and

hanging

Wrong verb form

hang

show examples

out with them.

Instead

Linking Words

, these days, kids play

computers

Replace the word

computer

games and talk to virtual friends, compete, or know the latest trends on social media.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the

time

Use synonyms

spent on devices can increase to 8-10 hours

average

Change preposition

on average

show examples

every day, especially among teenagers.

In addition

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

can lead to eye diseases,

such

Linking Words

as myopia

Punctuation problem

, or

show examples

even young people can struggle with

deficiency

Correct article usage

a deficiency

show examples

of concentration and communication. One effective solution could be encouraging the younger generation to participate in outdoor

activities

Use synonyms

. By setting daily limits on the use of the gadgets, parents will encourage kids to develop healthier habits and become more interested in outside

actions

Check wording

activities

show examples

For instance

Linking Words

, parents should spend more free

time

Use synonyms

with their young ones

out

Rephrase

outdoors

show examples

and doing different

activities

Use synonyms

, specifically picnics or going to diverse music,

family related

Correct your spelling

family-related

and cultural national festivals.

Moreover

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

will expand both parent-child relation

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

and their free

time

Use synonyms

outside the home.

Besides

Linking Words

, there are types of

activities

Use synonyms

for all age categories,

organized

Change the spelling

organised

show examples

by different youth centres,

for example

Linking Words

, sports, crafts or

volunteerring

Correct your spelling

volunteering

Additionally

Linking Words

, in

this

Linking Words

way

Add a comma

way,

show examples

young people will have a clear and

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

healthy mind with

less

Correct determiner usage

fewer

show examples

screens.

To conclude

Linking Words

, young people’s indoor

time

Use synonyms

is extremely

caused

Verb problem

influenced

show examples

by technology.

However

Linking Words

, by providing attractive outdoor opportunities,

this

Linking Words

issue could be

reduce

Wrong verb form

reduced

show examples

acaitaz

Aug 12, 2026

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Develop the causes in a more direct way. The first body part starts with screen use, but then also adds unsafe play areas and busy parents. These are useful points, but each cause needs its own clear explanation.

task response

Make the solutions more complete. Daily screen limits and family trips are good, but also explain what schools, local groups, and city leaders can do, such as build safe parks and run low-cost sports clubs.

task response

Use examples that clearly show cause and result. For example, explain how a safe park near home can make children choose football or games outside instead of online games.

coherence and cohesion

Keep one main idea in each paragraph. The first paragraph moves from devices to parks, parents, games, health, and social skills. Split or group these ideas more clearly.

coherence and cohesion

Use clearer links between sentences. Some links do not show the exact relation. For example, after talking about screen use, say that it also leads to less time for outdoor play.

coherence and cohesion

Make the ending more exact. State both the main cause and the main ways to solve it. Also check the final form: write “could be reduced”, not “could be reduce”.

task response

You answer both parts of the question. You explain why young people stay inside and give ways to help them spend more time outside.

task response

Your main ideas are clear: too much time on phones and computers, and more outdoor time with parents and local groups.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an ending. The order is easy to follow.

coherence and cohesion

You use linking words such as “For instance”, “Furthermore”, “Moreover”, and “To conclude” to guide the reader.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

337 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
In spite of advantage made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this case? What can be done about this problem?
Agriculture is a necessary part of the basic daily needs of people on earth. However, despite the gain of agricultural goods, hunger remains a major problem, especially in low-middle-income countries. This essay shall look into the causes of this phenomenon, and suggest some measures to alleviate this issue.
8
band
In recent years, the family structure has changed, as well as family roles. What are the changes that have occurred? Do you think these changes are positive or negative?
This modern society has experienced a dramatic change over the last few years related to family structure and members’ main duties in their own families. From my perspective, this transformation brings many upsides to all members of families.
6.5
band
The charge below shows the results of a survey but people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summarize the information by selecting and Reporting the main features and make comparisons were relevant.
The chart illustrates the percentage of residents in 5 Australian cities (Sydney, Melborn, Brisbane, Adelaide, and Hobart) who purchased coffee and tea and their drinking habits that resulted in a survey. The data is categorized into three groups ( buying fresh coffee, buying instant coffee, and visiting cafés) in the last four weeks.
6.5
band
In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad. Do the advantages of this development outweight the disadvantages?
The landscape of higher education has undergone a profound transformation, with an ever-growing number of students venturing beyond their national borders in pursuit of academic excellence. While this phenomenon is not without complications, the advantages of studying abroad are so far-reaching that they decisively outweigh any associated drawbacks.
6
band
The diagrams below shew the life cycle of the silkworm and the stages in the production of silk cloth. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons were relevant.
The pictures demonstrate the different stages of life that silkworms go through from birth to adulthood and the processes of making silk cloth from their cocoons. Overall, there are four steps for them to become fully grown-ups and five steps for the cloth to be produced.

In many parts of the world, children and teenagers are spending more and more of their time indoors. What do you think are the causes of this problem ? What measures could best be taken to solve it ?

In spite of advantage made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this case? What can be done about this problem?

In recent years, the family structure has changed, as well as family roles. What are the changes that have occurred? Do you think these changes are positive or negative?

The charge below shows the results of a survey but people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summarize the information by selecting and Reporting the main features and make comparisons were relevant.

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad. Do the advantages of this development outweight the disadvantages?

The diagrams below shew the life cycle of the silkworm and the stages in the production of silk cloth. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons were relevant.