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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In order to solve traffic problems, the government should tax private car owners heavily and use the money to improve public transport. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a solution?

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Introduction
Regarding
traffic
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 problems, governments apply high taxes on private
vehicles
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 in order to improve and promote public
transport
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. In
this
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 essay, I will evaluate the advantages and disadvantages associated with
this
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measure
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.
Body paragraph 1
On one hand, the private car
tax
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 is a very effective public fund-raising
measure
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is not questioned and is accepted by most drivers since they understand that using a car is a privilege and requires additional responsibility.
However
Linking Words
, the value of the
tax
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 must be reasonable, taking into account that private
vehicles
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 have other additional expenses
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as payment for permits and highways. Given that owning a car and using it regularly can be expensive, it is vital to have an efficient public
transport
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 network accessible to the rest of the population, and taxes can finance much of
this
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 service.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, other transit problems are not solved in the same way.
Traffic
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 jams are often the most common and unavoidable problem facing
urbanized
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urbanised
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 cities.
This
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 issue is not solved with funding, but with
restrictions
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 and clear policies. Many cities today do not have the road infrastructure needed to be used by thousands of
vehicles
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, even putting public
transport
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 users at risk.
This
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 phenomenon is explained by the fact that drivers of private
vehicles
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 consider their means of
transport
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 as a basic good, and
for
Correct determiner usage
the
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 more taxes they must pay,
they
Correct word choice
the more they
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 will continue to use their cars.
Body paragraph 3
The only possible alternative
,
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apply
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 is to restrict the circulation of cars
according to
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 their
patent
Check wording
plate number
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, so that during certain days of the week, those who have
restrictions
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 cannot transit.
This
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measure
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 not only benefits drivers and public
transport
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 users, but
also
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 residents in general because the air quality improves with fewer cars emitting pollution.
Conclusion
In short, taxing private
vehicles
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 is a concrete and effective
measure
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 to fund public
transport
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 expenses, as long as the
tax
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 rate is reasonable and appropriate. Alongside
this
Linking Words
 policy, other measures must be adopted to maintain order and optimal
traffic
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 flow,
such
Linking Words
 as license plate-based driving
restrictions
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 In short, taxing private
vehicles
Use synonyms
 is a concrete and effective
measure
Use synonyms
 to fund public
transport
Use synonyms
 expenses, provided the
tax
Use synonyms
 rate is reasonable and appropriate. Alongside
this
Linking Words
 policy, other measures must be adopted to maintain order and optimal
traffic
Use synonyms
 flow,
such
Linking Words
 as license plate-based driving
restrictions
Use synonyms
, which
also
Linking Words
 help to control gas emissions.

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task response
Make the good and bad sides more direct. The good side is clear: more money for public transport. The bad side should focus more on why high tax may be unfair or hard for some car owners, such as people who need a car for work or live far from public transport.
task response
Use one or two real examples. For example, say how tax money could add more buses, lower ticket prices, or build train lines. This will make your ideas stronger.
task response
Do not spend too much time on a new solution. The question asks for the good and bad sides of car tax. Car limits can be included, but keep them short and link them back to the main question.
task response
Your final paragraph repeats the same idea twice. End once with a short, clear summary of both sides.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer links between ideas. For example: "As a result", "For this reason", and "In contrast" can show how one idea leads to the next.
coherence and cohesion
The third body paragraph begins with "The only possible alternative", but it is not the only choice. Use "Another possible step" instead.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph closely tied to the main topic. The point about road space is useful, but explain more clearly why tax alone may not reduce the number of cars.
coherence and cohesion
Check the last sentence carefully. It ends with a comma and then repeats the conclusion. Remove the repeated part and finish the sentence fully.
task response
You give a clear main view: car tax can pay for better public transport, but it will not solve every traffic problem.
task response
You include both good and bad sides, and you add a useful idea about limits on car use.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, main body, and end. The use of "On one hand" and "On the other hand" helps the reader follow your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Most paragraphs stay on one main point, such as tax money, traffic jams, and car limits.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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