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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the sales of children’s books, adult fiction and educational books between 2002 and 2006 in one country.

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The graph compares the sales of different kinds of
books
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,
adult
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fiction
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 and children’s
books
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, and educational
books
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 between 2002 and 2006 in one country.
Overall
Linking Words
, children’s
books
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 showed a significant increase and had the highest sales by the end of
period
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
adult
Use synonyms
fiction
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 declined and educational
books
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 fluctuated. AT the beginning, children’s
books
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 started at approximately 33
million
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dollars
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 in 2002 and increased sharply to around 41
million
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dollars
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 in 2003. After that, they rose steadily between 2003 and 2005,
it
Correct word choice
and
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then
Linking Words
 climbed significantly to 55
million
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dollars
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, which was the highest sales figure.
Adult
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fiction
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,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, stood at 45
million
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dollars
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 in 2002 and decreased significantly to 38
million
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dollars
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 in 2003. It
then
Linking Words
 remained relatively stable between 2003 and 2004 before dropping dramatically to 30
million
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dollars
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 in 2006, which was the lowest figure throughout the period.
In contrast
Linking Words
, educational
books
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 started at approximately 25
million
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dollars
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 in 2002.
Adult
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fiction
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,
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Punctuation problem
hand,
show examples
 stood at 45
million
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dollars
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 in 2002 and decreased significantly to 38
million
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dollars
Use synonyms
 in 2003 and than remianed relatively stable from 2003
and
Change preposition
to
show examples
 2004
]
Punctuation problem
apply
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 before dropping dramatically to 30
million
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dollars
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 in 2006 , which was the lowest figure throughout the period
.
Punctuation problem
. In
show examples
in contrast
Linking Words
,educational
books
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 started at approximately 25
million
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dollars
Use synonyms
 in 2002.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast, on the other hand".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 83%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words books, adult, fiction, million, dollars with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 4 times.
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