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Writing Samples
Band 5

Today, the media portrays young people as lazy and disrespectful. Do you think this is true? Are young people today worse than their parents, or does every new generation get criticized by older people?

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Introduction
It is widely argued that young
people
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 is potrayed as a lazy and disrespectful
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generations
Fix the agreement mistake
generation
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.
While
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 some
people
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also
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 believe that the younger
generations
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 are worse than the older
one
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ones
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, the rest think that older
generations
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 always have
complaints
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over
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about
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 those younger than them.
Body paragraph 1
Potraying
Correct your spelling
Portraying
 youngsters
of
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as
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 having
less-manners
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less manners
 is far from
the
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apply
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reality. There is a significant difference
between
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in
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 conversation style between
gen z
Capitalize the proper name
Gen Z
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 and
millenials
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millennials
, and gen z had tendency on speaking straighforwardly, which
somehow
Verb problem
is somehow
show examples
 perceived as being disrespectful. Taking an example in the working force, when younger employees raise concerns about unpaid working time, it
frequently
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is frequently
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 perceived as negative
complaints
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 and
resulted
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results
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 in them
depicted
Verb problem
being depicted
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 as lazy workers.
Body paragraph 2
Moreover
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, with a distinct style of communication, comparison between parents and their children on their social skills is hard to measure. Since they are raised
in
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with
show examples
 different expectations of social skills, none of them is necessarily better or worse.
For instance
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, younger
generations
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 have better awareness of mental health, and it
frequently
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is frequently
show examples
 perceived as lazy.
Furthermore
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, newer
generations
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 do get
complaints
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 from the older
generations
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, mainly because
the
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of the
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 altered social expectations over time. Things that weren't allowed in the previous
generations
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is
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are
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 becoming more lenient for the younger
people
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.
For example
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, sharing gossip with parents might
be
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have been
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 considered rude several decades ago, and it is highly acceptable in current society.
Conclusion
In conclusion, young
people
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 should not be associated with laziness nor no manner, simply because they tend to be more critical in certain situations.
Moreover
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, the comparison between parents and their children can't be measured, simply because they have their own style of
communications
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communication
show examples
.
Lastly
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, the
complaints
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 received by younger
generations
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mostly
Verb problem
are mostly
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 driven by the changes
of the
Change preposition
in
show examples
 social
expectation
Check wording
expectations
show examples
.

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task response
Make your main answer even more direct in the first paragraph. Say clearly that the media view is often unfair and that older people have often criticized young people in every age.
task response
Explain each example more fully. In the work example, show why asking for pay for extra time is fair, and why this does not mean the worker is lazy.
task response
Be careful with broad claims. Instead of saying young people have better awareness of mental health, say that many young people may speak about mental health more openly.
task response
Your family gossip example is not fully clear. Choose a simpler example, such as young people speaking more openly to parents or questioning rules at work.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one clear idea in each paragraph. The second body paragraph has several ideas: social skills, mental health, older people’s complaints, and changing rules. Split or link them more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer links between cause and result. For example: “Because social rules change over time, older people may see new behavior as rude, even when it is normal today.”
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating “perceived as” many times. Use simple forms such as “seen as”, “viewed as”, or “thought to be”.
coherence and cohesion
The ending repeats your points well, but it can be shorter and stronger. End with one clear final view about change between generations.
task response
You give a clear view: young people are not worse, but are often seen in a bad way because times and ways of speaking have changed.
task response
You answer both parts of the question and use examples from work, mental health, and family life.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an ending. Each body part has one main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “Moreover”, “For instance”, and “Furthermore” help the reader follow your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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