IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many believe that climate change is the most serious issue facing humanity, while others think it is over-exaggerated. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
The largest proportion of the
world
Use synonyms
think
Correct subject-verb agreement
thinks
show examples
 that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
climate change is
global
Correct article usage
a global
show examples
 serious
problem
Use synonyms
 for humans,
other
Correct determiner usage
another
show examples
 part of
people
Use synonyms
 suppose that
this
Linking Words
 issue is
overwhealmed
Correct your spelling
overwhelming
.
Body paragraph 1
I totally agree with the statement, from my point of view
the
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 climate change is the most dangerous
problem
Use synonyms
 for all
habitants
Use the right word
inhabitants
show examples
 of the
world
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 2
Many centuries
ago
Punctuation problem
ago,
show examples
 our
planet
Use synonyms
 was the cleanest and the safest place for humanity
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
; however
show examples
however
Punctuation problem
however,
show examples
 now the situation
is
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 changed. The largest parts of the
world
Use synonyms
 are occupied by
dirtinesss
Check wording
dirt
show examples
 and pollution
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 there are many factors and reasons for that.
Body paragraph 3
Today
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
Use synonyms
planet
Check wording
planet's
show examples
 population is growing every year
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
Use synonyms
planet
Correct article usage
the planet
show examples
 is occupied by
people
Use synonyms
 and their technological appliances
such
Linking Words
 as
cars
Use synonyms
, planes, trains and
other many
Correct word order
many other
show examples
 things
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 pollute our environment. The gas emissions and
fuel
Use synonyms
 from
cars
Use synonyms
 and planes pollute the clean air
,
Punctuation problem
. This
show examples
this
Linking Words
 dirty air
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 turned into the rain and chemical rain down to the surface
Punctuation problem
. Moreover,
show examples
moreover
Linking Words
 all plants have
a bad watering
Check wording
poor water quality
show examples
 because of the chemicals in the rain.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
fuel
Use synonyms
 and gas emissions are reasons for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
global warming. Icebergs are warmed and
climate
Correct article usage
the climate
show examples
 is
changed
Wrong verb form
changing
show examples
 in many
countries
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
 use
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
drinking
water
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which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is
non renewable
Correct determiner usage
a non-renewable
show examples
 source and
which come
Correct subject-verb agreement
comes
show examples
 from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
icebergs and from the ice on the top of mountains
, with no
Punctuation problem
. Without
show examples
 clean
water
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
, people
show examples
 will
dye
Use the right word
die
show examples
. Some scientists
for solving
Wrong verb form
have solved
show examples
 the
problem
Use synonyms
 with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
car
fuel
Use synonyms
 they created new
cars
Use synonyms
 and
replaced
Wrong verb form
replacing
show examples
 the normal
fuel
Use synonyms
 with
water
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
however
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the price
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 these
cars
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 high
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 many
people
Use synonyms
 don't have
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 opportunity for buying it.
Body paragraph 4
The second factor is the
plastic
Use synonyms
.
Plastic
Use synonyms
 can't be recycled in 100-150 years
, there
Punctuation problem
. There
show examples
 are many oceans, the seas, rivers and lakes which are polluted by plastics. Fauna are irritated by
plastic
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 many
nature
Replace the word
natural
 creatures
dead
Wrong verb form
are dying
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, in 2016-
2018
Punctuation problem
2018,
show examples
 many dolphins and whales
were dead
Verb problem
died
show examples
 because of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
plastic
Use synonyms
 bottles in the Atlantic Ocean.
People
Use synonyms
 try to recycle
plastic
Use synonyms
 into
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
useful things for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 it is not enough.
While
Linking Words
Body paragraph 5
one
Capitalize the word
One
show examples
 part of
people
Use synonyms
 try to turn
plastic
Use synonyms
 into
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new things
other
Correct word choice
, while the other
show examples
 part still
use
Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
show examples
plastic
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
 no reasons and needs.
Conclusion
All
people
Use synonyms
 around the
world
Use synonyms
 are responsible and must save
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
show examples
 especially
Governments
Check wording
government
show examples
 leaders can solve the
problem
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 uniting and helping each other with financial and economic aid. Many business owners don't think about the nature of the
planet
Use synonyms
 because of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
making money. Governments should make strict rules for the business owners and should create a cleaning day for all locals of their
countries
Use synonyms
. Some
countries
Use synonyms
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as Japan and Switzerland
made
Verb problem
, have made
show examples
 good solutions for keeping
clean their environment
Correct word order
their environment clean
show examples
.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 some European
countries
Use synonyms
 use
the sun
Correct word choice
solar
show examples
 energy and
water
Use synonyms
 energy. We should save our
planet
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 I
start
Verb problem
will start
show examples
 it now, I will clean the lakes and rivers
from the
Change preposition
of
show examples
plastic
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Answer both sides of the question more fully. You explain why climate change is serious, but you do not explain why some people think it is made to seem worse than it is. Add one short paragraph about this view, then explain why you still do not agree with it.
task response
Keep your ideas more exact. For example, say that fossil fuels from cars and planes add gases to the air, which make the Earth warmer. Avoid ideas that are not clear or may not be true, such as all rain becoming chemical rain or cars using water as fuel.
task response
Develop fewer points with clearer support. In the transport paragraph, focus on air pollution and warming. In the plastic paragraph, explain how plastic harms sea life, then give one clear example.
task response
Make the ending match your main view. Sum up why climate change is a major problem and say that world action is needed. Your last sentence about cleaning lakes is positive, but it is too personal for the main ending.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simpler plan: first paragraph with your view; one paragraph on gases and warming; one paragraph on plastic and sea life; one paragraph on action by governments and people; then a short ending.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are very long and contain many ideas. Break them into shorter sentences so the reader can follow your meaning. For example, write one sentence about cars and planes, then one about gases, then one about warming.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with a clear job. Use “First” and “Second” for main points, “For example” for an example, “However” for an opposite idea, and “Therefore” for a result.
coherence and cohesion
Check the link between sentences. The line ending with “While” is not complete. Finish the sentence, or remove the word. Also avoid repeating “people”, “planet”, and “plastic” too often; use words like “they”, “this problem”, or “this waste” when the meaning is clear.
task response
Your view is clear from the start: you strongly agree that climate change is a very serious problem. You give main reasons, such as dirty air, warming, water, and plastic.
task response
You use some real examples, including sea animals harmed by plastic and clean energy in some countries.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, main body parts, and an ending. Each main paragraph has a main topic, such as transport, plastic, and what people and governments can do.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words such as “Also”, “For example”, “However”, and “Furthermore” to join ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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