IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people prefer to provide direct help and support to those in local communities. Others, however, prefer to donate money to national and international charitable organizations.

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Introduction
The one human gesture which never fades
down
Rephrase
apply
show examples
with
time
Use synonyms
 is helping in anything. There are various ways to help the
people
Use synonyms
 who
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
work to make
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society a better place to live. Some
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to give directly in these non-organisation
communites
Correct your spelling
communities
,
while
Linking Words
 for other individuals
helping
Punctuation problem
, helping
show examples
 financially in regional and global charitable groups caters
their
Change preposition
for their
show examples
 purpose to help. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss
these
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
both approaches in
upcoming
Correct article usage
the upcoming
show examples
 paragraphs.
Body paragraph 1
A section of society who believe to aid needy
people
Use synonyms
 directly
, they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
 usually have fear in their minds that these charity groups might use their
money
Use synonyms
 in
wrong
Correct article usage
the wrong
show examples
 ways
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 sometimes they do not reach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the right
people
Use synonyms
 who
really are
Correct word order
are really
show examples
 in need.
Secondly
Linking Words
, some individuals do not have enough
money
Use synonyms
 to offer,
rather than
Correct word choice
so
show examples
 they choose to give their old clothes and any used articles from their homes to help
people
Use synonyms
.
Addionally
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, there
a
Verb problem
are a
show examples
few
people
Use synonyms
 who give their
time
Use synonyms
 as a helping gesture because they do not have anything to offer
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
like by
Change preposition
such as
show examples
 working as
volunteer
Correct article usage
a volunteer
show examples
 in these charity offices.
Body paragraph 2
Conversely
Linking Words
, those
people
Use synonyms
 who give financial aid are usually
economical
Replace the word
economically
 stable
people
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. These
people
Use synonyms
 do not have a
plenty
Correct word choice
sufficient
show examples
 amount of
time
Use synonyms
 to visit regional communities one by one and help them.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they decide to send several
money
Use synonyms
transcations
Correct your spelling
transactions
 to different charitable
organizations
Change the spelling
organisations
show examples
 because by doing
this
Linking Words
, they enlarge
their
Change the pronoun
the
show examples
 area of their help from local to worldwide. Through these national and international charitable
grioups
Correct your spelling
groups
 and organisations, they can send their help to
people
Use synonyms
 who live in different nations.
This
Linking Words
 is really helpful during the
time
Use synonyms
 of natural calamities;
for example
Linking Words
, recently, in Japan, there was a massive earthquake
came
Correct pronoun usage
that came
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 that brought vast
distruction
Correct your spelling
destruction
 to their residents. In
this
Linking Words
 worst situation, the authorities of Japan decided to raise funds from all over world and
people
Use synonyms
 donated
money
Use synonyms
 rigorously.
As a result
Linking Words
, with that
money
Use synonyms
, they were able to provide shelter and
manufactured
Wrong verb form
build
show examples
 new infrastructure to those
people
Use synonyms
 who lost their homes and jobs in that earthquake.
Conclusion
To conclude
Linking Words
, whether
people
Use synonyms
 are helping directly or indirectly,
at the end
Linking Words
 , what matters the most is that
atleast
Correct your spelling
at least
 they are helping in either way. In my opinion,
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should foster their efforts by giving some perks and special amenities to those who do help consistenly and even a
littel
Correct your spelling
little
 act of help should be documented and recorded in government records.

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task response
Make your main answer clearer in the first part. Say if you think one way is better, or if both are equally good, and give one clear reason.
task response
Develop each point more. For direct help, add a short real example, such as giving food to an old person near your home. For charity groups, explain why they can act fast and reach far-away places.
task response
Some ideas need more care. Saying that people who give money are more stable may not always be true. Use softer words, such as “some people may have less time, so they choose to give money.”
task response
The last idea about the government giving rewards is not closely linked to the two ways of helping. End by comparing the two ways again instead.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each body part. For example: “Direct help can be more personal.” Then write why. In the next part: “Giving to large groups can help more people.”
coherence and cohesion
Keep one idea in each sentence. A few sentences are very long and contain many points. Split them into two or three short sentences to make the meaning clear.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words only when they show a clear link. For example, use “For example” before an example, “However” for a different view, and “As a result” for an outcome.
coherence and cohesion
Check word order and small word choices because they can make links between ideas hard to follow. For example, write “send money” instead of “send several money transactions”, and “work as a volunteer” instead of “working as volunteer.”
task response
You discuss both ways of helping: direct help in local places and giving money to larger groups. Your main view is clear in the end: all help has value.
task response
The example of help after an earthquake shows how large groups can bring help to many people.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an ending. Words such as “Secondly”, “Conversely”, “Therefore”, and “As a result” help the reader follow your points.
coherence and cohesion
Each body part has one main focus, so the reader can see the change from direct help to giving money.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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