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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the percentage of households in different types of tenure in England between 1918 and 2011."

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The chart below shows the percentage of households in different types of tenure in England between 1918 and 2011."
The chart shows and
illustrat
Correct your spelling
illustrates
 the changes in
Use synonyms
rate
Correct article usage
the rate
show examples
 of households in many types in England from 1918 to 2011.
Also
Linking Words
, First of all, owner occupier in the
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 of 1918
the
Check wording
apply
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
 was 23% before it rose to 50% in 1971. In 21 centry the
rate
Use synonyms
 went up to 67% approxmetily.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there is the rented from
private
Correct article usage
a private
show examples
 landlord, in
1918
Punctuation problem
1918,
show examples
 the percentage was 78%.
However
Linking Words
, in the next five
deaces
Correct your spelling
decades
 the
rate
Use synonyms
 droped into 10%.
Then
Linking Words
, in
2011
Punctuation problem
2011,
show examples
 the
rate
Use synonyms
increases
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 to 15%.
Finally
Linking Words
, rented from
council
Correct article usage
the council
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the end of
1918
Punctuation problem
1918,
show examples
 the
rate
Use synonyms
 was almost 1% before
shoted
Wrong verb form
shot
show examples
 up to 30% in 1981.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 it drops to 18% in 2011.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "droped" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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