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Writing Samples
Band 6

The table below shows the minimum number of public holidays that companies are required to give their full-time workers in six countries in 2016. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The table presents the information on paid
vacation
Use synonyms
 and paid public
holidays
Use synonyms
 which companies in six countries
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 required their employees to provide in 2016. It can be seen that Finland and Sweden had more paid
vacation
Use synonyms
days
Use synonyms
 than the other four countries, 25
days
Use synonyms
. In Australia, workers had 20
vacation
Use synonyms
days
Use synonyms
 , which was a
second,
Linking Words
while
Linking Words
 the USA and Japan had 10
days
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, China represented the least,
due to
Linking Words
 providing only 5
days
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Finland and China, providing 11
days
Use synonyms
, had fewer public
holidays
Use synonyms
 than the other two countries, Australia and the USA , which had 10
days
Use synonyms
. No offering paid public holiday were Swenden and Japan. In conclusion, Finland was in first place, offering the most paid
holidays
Use synonyms
 and
vacation
Use synonyms
days
Use synonyms
, second was Australia,
36
Change preposition
with 36
show examples
days
Use synonyms
, and 30
days
Use synonyms
, respectively. Swenden was
third,
Linking Words
though not giving public
holidays
Use synonyms
, 25
days
Use synonyms
. The
last
Linking Words
 three were the USA, China, and Japan, which had 20, 16, and 10
days
Use synonyms
.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words vacation, holidays, days with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • minimum
  • public holidays
  • full-time workers
  • companies
  • countries
  • requirement
  • 2016
  • illustrates
  • highest
  • least
  • similar
  • indicating
  • approach
  • differences
  • linked
  • cultural values
  • economic strategies
  • highlight
  • variations
  • policies
  • priorities
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