IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below shows the number of books read by men and women at Burnaby Public Library from 2011 to 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. 

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The graph illustrates the information
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
figure
Check wording
number
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 of
books
Use synonyms
were
Verb problem
apply
show examples
read by
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 at Burnaby Public Library from 2011 to 2013.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
men
Use synonyms
 started from lower numbers than
women
Use synonyms
,
wherease
Correct your spelling
whereas
at the end
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 of
period
Correct article usage
the period
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 they went
opposited
Replace the word
opposite
 ways.
According to
Linking Words
 the data, in 2011, 3,000
books
Use synonyms
 were read by
men
Use synonyms
, which had
smaller
Correct article usage
a smaller
show examples
nubmer
Correct your spelling
number
 than
women
Use synonyms
, recording at 5,000
books
Use synonyms
. In the next year, 2012, a slight increase
went up
Verb problem
occurred
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 in both genders
,
Punctuation problem
;
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men
Use synonyms
 reached 4,000
books
Use synonyms
, and
women
Use synonyms
, 8,000.
In addition
Linking Words
, interestingly, in 2013,
men
Use synonyms
 had a
singificant
Correct your spelling
significant
 rise,
while
Linking Words
women
Use synonyms
 faced
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
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 the arverage of growth
same
Correct word choice
apply
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as
last
Linking Words
, both touching down at 10,000.
On the contrary
Linking Words
,
men
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 still kept going up to 14,000
books
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, a
noticle
Correct your spelling
notable
 reduction, 7,000
books
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 were read by
women
Use synonyms
.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words books, men, women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • the number of books read
  • male and female readers
  • overall trend
  • a steady increase
  • a sharp rise
  • a slight decline
  • a gradual growth
  • remain higher than
  • overtake the figure for
  • the highest figure
  • the lowest point
  • a noticeable gap
  • the difference narrowed
  • the gap widened
  • by contrast
  • respectively
  • over the four-year period
  • in the final year
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