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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.

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Introduction
An increasing number of married
couples
Use synonyms
 are choosing to remain childless.
Although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 decision can provide
couples
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 with greater freedom and
finacial
Correct your spelling
financial
 independence, it may result in loneliness in later life.
Body paragraph 1
The main advantage of remaining
chlildless
Correct your spelling
childless
 after marriage
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 that
couples
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 can focus more on themselves compared to those with
kids
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. Having children means more responsibilities other than their own, and
this
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 can be a big issue for
family
Correct article usage
a family
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withe
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with
 unstable
finance
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finances
show examples
 because they might not be able to provide what their
kids
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 need. Another benefit for child-free
couples
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 is having more free
time
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 after work
, people
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. People
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 should have
time
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 to rest after working all day, but some
family
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families
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 with children, especially toddlers,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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barely have
time
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 for themselves,
for
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as
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 they have to look after their
kids
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.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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,
couples
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 with no
child
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children
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 may struggle as they get older;
for example
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, they might have a feeling of loneliness because they have no other family members to keep them company, and they might
as well
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also
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 have a problem with travelling when needed,
such
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 as driving to
hospital
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the hospital
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could
Correct pronoun usage
, which could
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 be difficult for them. Another notable disadvantage is
,as
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that,as
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 they grow old ,nobody is going to take care of them, and
might
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they might
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 eventually end up in care homes,
for
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because
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 they can not look after themselves.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the primary benefits of staying childless are that
couples
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 do not have to take
responsibilities
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the responsibilities
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 of raising
chlidren
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children
, and
having
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have
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 more free
time
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 to do the things they want.
While
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the main drawbacks for not having
kids
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 are getting lonely as they get older, or struggling with many tasks in life,
such
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 as travelling or self-care.

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task response
Explain each main point more fully. For example, say how more money can help a couple, such as saving for a home, trips, or old age.
task response
Use more real and clear examples. The point about going to hospital is useful, but explain why a childless couple may need help and what other help they could use.
task response
Avoid making every childless couple sound the same. Some may have friends, family, or paid care in old age. Use words like “may” and “can”.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph start with one clear main idea. Then add two or three sentences that explain it before you move to the next idea.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are too long and join many ideas. Split them into short sentences. This will make your meaning clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Use links in a more natural way. For example: “Also”, “As a result”, “However”, and “For this reason”. Do not join full sentences with only a comma.
coherence and cohesion
Your last paragraph repeats the main points well. Make it stronger by giving one final view, such as saying that the choice depends on what each couple wants and can manage.
task response
You answer both sides of the question. You give clear good points, such as more free time and money, and problems in old age.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an end. The reader can easily see the good side and the bad side.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words such as “Although”, “On the other hand”, “for example”, and “In conclusion” to guide the reader.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • childfree
  • personal freedom
  • financial stress
  • raising children
  • nurturing the relationship
  • societal pressure
  • stigma
  • support network
  • companionship
  • legacy
  • regret
  • intimate bond
  • norm
  • invest in experiences
  • close-knit
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