IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of books read by men and women at Burnaby Public Library from 2011 to 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. 

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The line graph compared the
among
Check wording
amount
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 of
books
Use synonyms
 reading for mens and
womans
Correct your spelling
women
over 4 years, from 2011 to 2014, in a brand of VPL, Burnaby
public library
Capitalize the proper name
Public Library
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Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that the habit of reading in
Use synonyms
woman
Check wording
women
show examples
 and men
have a
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 opposite trends,
while
Linking Words
mens
Correct your spelling
men
 experienced an
increased
Replace the word
increase
,
woman
Use synonyms
 dropping and read less than before
, another
Punctuation problem
. Another
show examples
 point to stand out
it
Verb problem
is
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 that
en
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2013
Punctuation problem
,
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both
womans
Correct your spelling
women
 and mens reading the same number of
books
Use synonyms
. To
beging
Correct your spelling
begin
 with
Check wording
apply
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woman
Use synonyms
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
women
show examples
 rose constantly from approximately 4500
books
Use synonyms
 in 2011 , reaching 10000
books
Use synonyms
 read in 2013 , them
woman
Use synonyms
 decreased to about 7000 titles read in 2014.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Men began with less book readen than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
women, with few 4000 in 2011
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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 they experienced an increase stablished, reaching the top with 14.000 titles
readen
Correct your spelling
read
 in the
lat
Correct your spelling
last
 year. It would be interesting to know why in
2013
Punctuation problem
2013,
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 despite both
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
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 and men
read
Wrong verb form
reading
show examples
 the same
among
Use the right word
amount
show examples
 of
books
Use synonyms
, after
that
Punctuation problem
that,
show examples
 they were opposite trend,

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words books, woman with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • the number of books read
  • male and female readers
  • overall trend
  • a steady increase
  • a sharp rise
  • a slight decline
  • a gradual growth
  • remain higher than
  • overtake the figure for
  • the highest figure
  • the lowest point
  • a noticeable gap
  • the difference narrowed
  • the gap widened
  • by contrast
  • respectively
  • over the four-year period
  • in the final year
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