In many countries around the world young people decide to leave their parent's home once they finish school. They start living on their own or sharing a home with friends. Do you agree or disagree with this approach. Give your opinion.

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Introduction
Quite
often
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often,
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young adults
after
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, after
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finishing their
studies
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studies,
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decide to move out.
This
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is often helped by the fact that they can split the rent with a roommate. I believe that
this
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is a good approach
as
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apply
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to figuring out life on your own
,
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;
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living independently often helps people shape into their true selves.
This
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is supported by the fact that living without support often helps in developing a good economic sense when it comes to spending, and
also
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helps with managing tasks.
Body paragraph 1
Firstly
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, living away usually leads to forming a better sense of spending.
This
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,
as a
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result
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result,
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leads to refined knowledge when it comes to what is worth the money and how to effectively budget.
Moreover
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, being on your own often helps with dealing with financial strain, as you don't have anyone to call out to
,
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;
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as a result
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, a sense of responsibility is
also
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being developed.
Overall
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, even if it may be hard at
first,
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the rewards are something that I believe
are
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is
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something to consider.
Body paragraph 2
Secondly
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, you have no one to help or even do your chores for you. To illustrate, being alone leads to the fast development of life skills,
such
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as time management.
Therefore
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, as rough as it may sound,not having anyone to rely on brings unexpected benefits, which often
leads
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lead
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to huge personal growth. In general, being alone isn't that bad, as long as you are willing to adapt and overcome your problems.
Body paragraph 3
In conclusion, leaving their parent's home once they finish school is an unexpectedly good decision when it comes to personal growth.
This
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,
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apply
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often leads to an easier life, as you find your own rhythm
when it comes to
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on
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a
day to day
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day-to-day
basis.
Conclusion
I heavily recommend attempting to live alone
as
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, as
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there is so much upside to it, and if things somehow go
wrong
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wrong,
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you could always ask for some support.

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task response
Give a clearer main view in the first part. Say directly that you agree, and say why in one short sentence.
task response
Develop each main idea with one real or clear example. For example, show how a young person makes a rent plan, buys food, or learns to clean and cook.
task response
Some points are repeated. The idea of being alone and having no help appears many times. Add new details instead of saying the same point again.
task response
The last part adds a new point about asking for support if things go wrong. Put this idea in a body paragraph, or make the end only sum up your view.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an end. Make the link between sentences smoother by using words such as 'For example', 'Because of this', and 'As a result' only when the next sentence clearly follows.
coherence and cohesion
Start each body paragraph with one clear main idea. Then explain it, give an example, and state the result. This will make the paragraphs easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid very long sentences with many ideas. Split them into two shorter sentences, especially in the first paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Check word choice and small grammar points that can slow the reader. For example, write 'parents' home', 'day-to-day life', and add a space after a comma in 'sound, not'.
task response
You give a clear positive view of young people moving out after school.
task response
Your two main ideas are useful and on topic: money skills and daily life skills.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to see as a full piece of writing, with an opening, two main parts, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion' help show the order of your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • autonomy
  • integral
  • personal development
  • life skills
  • budgeting
  • social development
  • communication skills
  • fostering
  • financial strain
  • overwhelming
  • cultural significance
  • traditional values
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