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Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people believe that climate has the greatest effect on people ‘s way of life. Others believe that the economy of the region has the greatest effect. Discuss both view and give you own opinion.

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Introduction
There are many
people
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 belive that the change in
climate
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 has
an
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 significant impact on
people
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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s live.
While
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 others think that the most
effect
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 on them
related
Verb problem
is related
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 to
Correct article usage
the
show examples
economy
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 of the
region
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.
This
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 essay will
viwe
Correct your spelling
view
 both sides .
Aftert
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After
that
Punctuation problem
that,
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 I will show my opinion.
Body paragraph 1
Firstly
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, the change in
climate
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 has had a negative
effect
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 on lifestyle. It has
sttriced
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strived
 different types of
diactivities
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activities
 and
festivles
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festivals
.
In other words
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, there are several of maches or celebrations are cancelled. Because the
climate
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its
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has
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 become rainy, windy or snowy.
However
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, it has had a positive
effect
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 on
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people life
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people's lives
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.
For example
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, many outdoor
activeties occure
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activities occur
 when the
climate
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 is sunny
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such
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, such
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 as
,
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apply
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pichnik
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picnics
 and parties.
Body paragraph 2
Secondly
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, the
economy
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 of the
region
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Linking Words
also has
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has also
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 had several effects on
people
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,
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apply
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s live.
many
Capitalize the word
Many
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 countries hasve vision to develop their
region
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 from
the
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an
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economy
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 to
high
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a high
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economy
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.
In addition
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,
people
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 who live in
this
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 area
they
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apply
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have
Correct article usage
a
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good
lifestye
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lifestyle
 with high employment
opportinities
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opportunities
.
In
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On the
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 other hand, they
are
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apply
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live in
crowded
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a crowded
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region
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. So
that
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apply
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, they
loss
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lose
 more time in
trasportation
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transportation
.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the change in
climate
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 and the
economy
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 of the
ragion
Correct your spelling
region
 have a negative and a positive significant
effect
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 on
people
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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s live. In my opinion, the
economy
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 of the
ragion
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region
 has more
effect
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in
Change preposition
on
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 our
live
Replace the word
lives
than the
climate
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. Because we are adopt with premenant changing that
occure
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occur
 in
this
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 area.

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task response
Make your main idea stronger. Explain why the economy affects daily life more than climate. You can write about pay, jobs, homes, food, schools, and travel.
task response
Give more clear and full examples. For climate, explain how very hot, cold, wet, or dry weather can change work, food, clothes, and free time. For the economy, explain how good jobs and low prices can make life easier.
task response
Some ideas are not fully clear. For example, say why busy places and long travel time are linked to a strong economy.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one clear main idea in each body part. In the climate part, the point moves from bad weather to good weather. Add a short opening sentence to show what the part will prove.
coherence and cohesion
Use links more carefully. Do not start a new sentence with “Because”. Join it to the sentence before it, or use “This is because...”.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear word groups. Write “people’s lives”, “the region’s economy”, and “life in this area”. This will make your meaning easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
In the ending, restate your view in a more direct way: “In my view, the economy has a bigger effect because it shapes people’s work, money, and daily choices.”
task response
You discuss both climate and the economy, and you clearly give your own view in the end.
task response
You use examples, such as outdoor events and jobs, to explain your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “Firstly”, “Secondly”, “For example”, and “In conclusion” help the reader follow your writing.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • climate
  • weather
  • life
  • people
  • region
  • economy
  • money
  • jobs
  • income
  • housing
  • health
  • diet
  • food
  • clothes
  • energy
  • farming
  • crops
  • seasons
  • transport
  • education
  • culture
  • change
  • adapt
  • policy
  • government
  • wealth
  • standard of living
  • influence
  • shape
  • choice
  • opportunity
  • access
  • infrastructure
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