IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think that the government should spend more money on public service rather than wasting money on the arts. To what extent do you agree?

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Introduction
The public
transport
Use synonyms
 is
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 concern in any city and should have
governments
Check wording
governments'
show examples
 focus rather than spending money on arts.
Such
Linking Words
focus
Correct article usage
a focus
show examples
 will ease the
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 in
differnet
Correct your spelling
different
 aspects. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will
emphasize
Change the spelling
emphasise
show examples
 why I
do
Rephrase
strongly
show examples
 agree
strognly on
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
Linking Words
approch
Correct your spelling
approach
 and what
are the advnatages
Correct word order
the advantages are
show examples
 behind it.
Body paragraph 1
One of the main
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 behind spending money on
transports
Check wording
transport
show examples
 is
,
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 making better
transport
Use synonyms
 will reduce the
traffic
Use synonyms
 jam a cross countries.
Such
Linking Words
 improvement
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 will allow
people
Use synonyms
 to keep
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 cars at home, use public
transport
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 will heavily contribute
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 reducing the
traffic
Use synonyms
 jam.
Body paragraph 2
Furthermore
Linking Words
, enhancing the public
transport
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 will reduce the
polution
Correct your spelling
pollution
.
less number of
Correct determiner usage
Fewer
show examples
 cars
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the road
is
Verb problem
results in
show examples
 less carbon emission which
resulte
Correct your spelling
results
 in
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 environment.
Body paragraph 3
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, having a good network of public
tanport
Correct your spelling
transport
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 will allow
people
Use synonyms
 to reach to thier work on time
due to
Linking Words
 less
traffic
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 will reflect in increasing the
effeciency
Correct your spelling
efficiency
 of the workers.
Conclusion
As a conclusion, poor public
tarnsport
Correct your spelling
transportation
 is
concern
Correct article usage
a concern
show examples
 in any country and spending money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 improving public
tansport
Correct your spelling
transportation
 is far better than spending it on art.
Traffic
Use synonyms
conjuction
Correct your spelling
congestion
 is a
concer
Correct your spelling
concern
 in any city or town
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 reducing
such
Linking Words
 jam contibute positively
in the
Change preposition
to
show examples
Use synonyms
people life
Check wording
people's lives
show examples
 by reducing the dependency on
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 cars, less pollution and higher
effeciency
Correct your spelling
efficiency
.

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task response
Answer the full question more directly. The question is about public services and the arts, but your essay talks almost only about public transport. Say why transport should get more money than art, and also note that art still has some value.
task response
Build each main idea with a clear reason and a real example. For example, explain how more buses or trains can make people leave their cars at home, then give an example of a busy city road.
task response
Avoid very broad claims such as “in any city” or “a cross countries”. Use more careful ideas, such as “in many large cities” or “in busy areas”.
coherence and cohesion
Make your main point in each body part clearer. Start with one topic sentence, explain it, and then give an example or result. This will make each part feel more complete.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. Do not put a comma after every short phrase. For example: “Better public transport can reduce traffic because more people may choose buses and trains.”
coherence and cohesion
Your ending repeats the same ideas many times. Keep it short: restate your view and sum up the two or three strongest reasons.
coherence and cohesion
Check key word forms and spelling, as these can make the flow less clear: “government’s focus”, “different”, “strongly”, “approach”, “transport”, “pollution”, “their”, “efficiency”, and “congestion”.
task response
You clearly say that you agree with more money for public transport. Your main ideas are on topic: less traffic, less air harm, and better work time.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, main body parts, and an ending. Words such as “Furthermore” and “In addition to that” help the reader follow your points.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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