IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the proportion of people's total spending on different commodities and services in a particular European country in 1998 and 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The given bar charts compare the percentage of
people
Check wording
people's
show examples
 total spending on 6 different commodities and services in a specific EU country in two years (1998 and 2008).
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 two out of six figures showed an upward trajectory throughout the period,
while
Linking Words
holiday
Check wording
holidays
show examples
, newspapers, and going to the
cinema
Use synonyms
 experienced a decline over the given years. It is
also
Linking Words
 evident that electronic goods had the largest share in both
timescales
Correct your spelling
time scales
. In detail, the share of holiday accounted for 8% in 1998, compared with 3% for newspapers.
However
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, both of these figures witnessed a decrease to 5% for
holiday
Correct article usage
the holiday
show examples
 by the end of the timeframe.
Similarly
Linking Words
, newspapers declined slightly to 1% in the same year.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 trend, the remaining categories
namely
Verb problem
are
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 clothing, eating out, electronic goods, and going to the
cinema
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, clothing stood at 12% in 1998, before increasing to 18% over a 10-year span. Meanwhile, there was a noticeable difference of 3 percentage
between
Check wording
points between
show examples
 eating out and going to the
cinema
Use synonyms
, at 6% and 3% in the initial year, respectively.
Likewise
Linking Words
, eating out remained stable at 6% in both periods,
whereas
Linking Words
 going to the
cinema
Use synonyms
 decreased steadily to 1%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, electronic goods represented the largest proportion at 16% in 1998, but
then
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 was followed by a
future
Correct word choice
further
show examples
 growth of 2 percentage
, reaching
Check wording
points, reaching
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 a peak of 20% by the end of the timescale.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words cinema with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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