IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

One problem faced by almost every large city is traffic congestion What do you think the causes are? What solutions can you suggest?

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Introduction
Currently, the biggest problem in every large urban area is
traffic
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congestion
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.
This
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 essay will discuss the main causes of
this
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 phenomenon and suggest a possible solution.
Body paragraph 1
Starting with causes, the main
cause
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 is the number of cars in a city. Nowadays, in large cities, there is a considerable number of vehicles, which are the main
cause
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. Lots of people who work or study prefer to use their car, because it is convenient;
however
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, they do not mind that they are the major
cause
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.
Moreover
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, cars are stuck in intersections, where the time of the
traffic
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 light is long.
This
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 results in
traffic
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congestion
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 in a town.
For example
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, in Uzbekistan, the timing of
traffic
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lights
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 is pretty long, which leads to a big
congestion
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.
Additionally
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, a lot of
traffic
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lights
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 can be a
cause
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 too because if there are more
traffic
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lights
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 in an urban area, it provides more
congestion
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it provide
Verb problem
apply
show examples
.
Body paragraph 2
There are several solutions to reduce the amount of
congestion
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.
Firstly
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, the government must replace some of the
lights
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 and relocate them to places where they are needed.
For instance
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, in the suburbs , because there are not enough
traffic
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lights
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, the government needs to build
lights
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 there.
Secondly
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, in a big intersection with a large number of cars, there must be a
traffic
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 police officer who will ensure accuracy on the roads and alleviate
congestion
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.
For instance
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, in the UK, if there is
congestion
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, a
traffic
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 police officer would like to go to the center on the intersection and give proper directions to drivers.
Conclusion
In summary, there are lots of reasons why
traffic
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 jams appear, and solutions can easily address those problems.

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task response
Answer both parts with more clear and full ideas. You give causes and ways to help, but some points need more detail.
task response
Make the causes more exact. Too many cars is a main cause, but explain why people choose cars and why this makes roads full at busy times.
task response
Choose stronger ways to help. Better buses and trains, lower cost public travel, car sharing, and limits on cars in city centers may help more than moving traffic lights.
task response
Explain how each way will work. For example, good public transport can make people leave their cars at home, so there will be fewer cars on the road.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an end. Keep this plan, but make the links between ideas smoother.
coherence and cohesion
Give one main idea in each paragraph. In the first body paragraph, you move from too many cars to long traffic lights and then to too many lights. Add clear links and explain each point before moving on.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating words such as “cause”, “congestion”, and “traffic lights” too often. Use simple other words, such as “problem”, “traffic jam”, “roads”, and “these lights”.
coherence and cohesion
Make your last sentence more careful. The problems cannot be solved easily. Say that the suggested steps can reduce traffic jams instead.
task response
You answer both the cause and solution parts of the question.
task response
You use real examples from Uzbekistan and the UK to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction clearly tells the reader what the essay will discuss.
coherence and cohesion
The paragraphs are in a clear order: causes first, then solutions, then a short end.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • urban population
  • public transportation
  • urban planning
  • infrastructure
  • economic strength
  • consumerism
  • car ownership
  • commuting
  • peak hours
  • public transit
  • carpooling
  • ride-sharing
  • remote work
  • flexible working hours
  • cycling infrastructure
  • congestion charges
  • traffic management systems
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