IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

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Introduction
Science
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 has played a fundamental role in human development, from improving healthcare to creating technologies that make everyday activities easier. I strongly agree that improving people’s lives should be the primary aim of scientific progress,
although
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 scientific
research
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 can
also
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 serve other purposes.
Body paragraph 1
One major reason for prioritising human well-being is that scientific discoveries can directly improve people’s health and
life
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 expectancy. Advances in medicine have led to vaccines, antibiotics and sophisticated treatments for diseases that were once
life
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-threatening.
For example
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, the development of vaccines has helped prevent millions of people from suffering from infectious diseases.
Similarly
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, modern medical technology allows doctors to diagnose illnesses at an earlier stage and provide more effective treatment.
Therefore
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, scientific
research
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 can have a profound impact on both the length and quality of human
life
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.
Body paragraph 2
In addition
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,
science
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 has contributed greatly to improving people's daily lives through technological and engineering developments. Modern transportation, electricity, the internet and household appliances have made many tasks faster, safer and more convenient.
For instance
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, advances in engineering have resulted in elevators and hydraulic systems that allow people to move heavy objects with considerably less physical effort.
Furthermore
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, scientific
research
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 into renewable energy could help societies reduce pollution and address the long-term threat of climate change. These examples demonstrate that
science
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 can be used not only to make
life
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 more convenient but
also
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 to solve major problems facing humanity.
Body paragraph 3
However
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, not every scientific discovery has an immediate or obvious benefit to human
life
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. Some
research
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 is conducted simply to expand our understanding of the natural world.
For example
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,
research
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 into distant galaxies or subatomic particles may not produce an immediate practical application.
Nevertheless
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,
such
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research
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 can eventually lead to unexpected technological breakthroughs and a deeper understanding of our environment.
Therefore
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, even scientific
research
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 that appears unrelated to everyday
life
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 can ultimately contribute to human progress.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I strongly agree that improving human
life
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 should be the most important aim of
science
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.
Although
Linking Words
 expanding knowledge is
also
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 valuable in its own right, scientific
research
Use synonyms
 is most beneficial when its discoveries can contribute to better health, greater convenience and a safer and more sustainable future.

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task response
Your view is clear from the start and stays the same. To make it even stronger, explain more fully why making life better should come before other aims of science, such as the wish to know more about space or nature.
task response
Your examples are good and on topic. You could add one more real case, such as how clean water work or new farm methods have helped many people, to make your points feel more real.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow: it moves from health, to daily life, to science with no clear use. Keep this clear plan in future work.
coherence and cohesion
Your linking words, such as “In addition”, “However”, and “Therefore”, help the reader. Try not to use “For example” and “For instance” so close together; use a short link or no link when the meaning is already clear.
coherence and cohesion
Each main part has one clear idea and enough support. The last part works well, but you could link it more directly to your main view by saying that even science done only to learn should still be safe and, in time, help people.
task response
You answer all parts of the task and give a clear, strong view. Your reasons about health, daily life, and the world’s future are well chosen.
task response
The points about vaccines, early checks for illness, clean energy, and climate change are useful examples that support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The opening gives a clear main idea, and the ending repeats your view in a natural way.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is very clear, and the paragraphs connect well. This makes the essay smooth and easy to read.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
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