IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is sometimes said that countries should produce all the food for their populations to eat and import as little as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
It is often argued that
countries
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 should produce most of the
food
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 their people need
instead
Linking Words
 of importing
food
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 from other
countries
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. I partly agree with
this
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 idea because local
food
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 production can improve a country’s economy and
food
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 security, but importing
food
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 is
also
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 necessary.
Body paragraph 1
One advantage of producing
food
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 locally is that
countries
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 can become less dependent on other
countries
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.
For example
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, if a country produces enough vegetables, meat and dairy products, it may continue to provide
food
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 for its people even when there are problems with international trade. Local production can
also
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 create jobs and support farmers.
Body paragraph 2
However
Linking Words
, I do not think
countries
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 should stop importing
food
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 completely. Some
countries
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 have unsuitable weather or limited land, so they cannot produce all types of
food
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.
For example
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,
countries
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 with very hot or dry climates may need to import some fruits and vegetables.
In addition
Linking Words
, importing
food
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 gives people more choices and can sometimes provide cheaper products.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I believe
countries
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 should produce as much
food
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 as possible locally, but they should not depend only on local production. A balance between local farming and
food
Use synonyms
 imports is the best solution

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task response
Your view is clear: you partly agree. To make it stronger, explain more fully why a balance is the best way. For example, say how local food can help in a time of trade problems, while imports can cover food that cannot grow at home.
task response
Your main ideas are good, but some examples are still quite general. Add one clear case, such as a dry country that imports rice because it cannot grow enough on its own.
task response
You answer all parts of the question and stay on the topic. You could make the two sides more equal by adding one more reason for imports, such as lower food prices or more food choice.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear order: your view, a reason for local food, a reason for imports, and a final view. Keep this simple plan in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main point and is easy to follow. To make links smoother, use a wider range of simple link words, such as “as a result”, “for this reason”, and “on the other hand”.
coherence and cohesion
The last paragraph clearly repeats your main view. You can make it even stronger by briefly joining both ideas: local food gives safety, while imports give choice and fill gaps.
task response
You give a direct answer from the start and keep the same view throughout the essay.
task response
Your points about food safety, jobs, land, weather, choice, and price are all relevant to the question.
coherence and cohesion
The four-paragraph form works well, and the reader can easily see the purpose of each paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “However”, “For example”, “In addition”, and “In conclusion” help the ideas flow clearly.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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