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Writing Samples
Band 5

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Introduction
There is an
increasing
Rephrase
increasingly
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 widespread conviction that it's crucial for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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individuals, including younger
people
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, to save
money
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 for their
future
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. From my perspective, I largely agree that
people
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 need to save
money
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 for the sake of not only their
future
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 lives, but
also
Linking Words
 the improvement of society as a whole.
Body paragraph 1
In terms of the issue, saving
money
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 for
future
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 offers
some
Verb problem
has some
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 benefits. First of all, saving enough
money
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 means preparing for risks in the
future
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.
People
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 can't assure that they won't experience
acccidents
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accidents
 like
car
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a car
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 crash or diseases in the
future
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, so keeping enough
money
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instead
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 of simply spending all of
them
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it
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 will save our lives when facing accidents or
catastrophies
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catastrophes
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 in the
future
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.
Body paragraph 2
Apart from that, I believe that establishing great habits in saving and managing
money
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 can definitely help us
having
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have
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 chances or
developing
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develop
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 skills to earn more
money
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.
For example
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, by investing
money
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 into stocks, funds
or
Punctuation problem
, or
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 even
just
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apply
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simply saving
money
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 in bank accounts, interests and profits will be given in the long term. The
youngers
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younger people
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 will experience more significant effects since the time
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last
Correct subject-verb agreement
lasts
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 longer.
As a result
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, by depositing and investing
money
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,
people
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 can earn more
money
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.
Body paragraph 3
It can't be denied that
there's
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there are
show examples
 some risks
like
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, like
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 the value of
money
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 will drop in the
future
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due to
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 inflation or financial crises ;
however
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, by investing
money
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 wisely and conducting asset management, we can address the problem in
the
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a
show examples
 wise way. Apart from that, only if citizens of the country have great investment and financial management knowledge can the country
develops
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develop
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 better in the long run.
Conclusion
To sum up
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, the evidence mentioned above suggests that the public, especially the youngers should save
money
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 for their
future
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 to face incidents and live an affluent life.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, governments and the public ought to raise greater awareness about the idea of saving
money
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 to make a greater impact on the development of the country.

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task response
State your view more clearly in the first part. You agree, but explain how far you agree and why saving is more useful than spending all money now.
task response
Develop each main idea with a clear reason and a real or clear example. For example, explain how saved money can help a young person pay for a doctor, study, or a time without work.
task response
Be careful with the idea that saving always leads to more money. Saving in a bank and investing in shares are not the same, and investment can also lose money. Explain this point in a balanced way.
task response
Your point about society is not fully developed. Show clearly how people saving money can help the country, such as less need for help from the state in hard times.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: introduction, two main parts, a different view, and conclusion. Keep this plan, but make the link from each point to your main view more direct.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words in a natural way, such as 'First', 'Also', 'However', and 'As a result'. Do not use 'Apart from that' too often.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph focus on one main point. The third body part mixes inflation, investment, and the country. Split these ideas or explain the link between them more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear word groups again instead of unclear words like 'the youngers'. Write 'young people' and keep the same words through the essay.
task response
You give a clear view that people, especially young people, should save money for the future.
task response
Your ideas are relevant to the question. You discuss help in hard times, future chances, and the value of good money habits.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has both an introduction and a conclusion, and the conclusion returns to your main view.
coherence and cohesion
You use clear paragraph breaks and helpful link words such as 'First of all', 'For example', 'however', and 'To sum up'.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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