some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education and that governments should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

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Introduction
Some individuals think that tertiary
education
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should be free for all, but I do not agree with
this
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statement. I think official authorities should help poor
students
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by granting scholarships
instead
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of removing fees entirely.
Body paragraph 1
There are various reasons why I think tuition fees are justified. One major concern is that if the entire educational system becomes free,
then
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its perceived value may decrease. When
students
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do not invest anything financially,
then
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they often show less interest in studies.
This
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would not only weaken their academic performance but
also
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create more difficulties for them in the future.
For example
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, most people prefer private universities because of their strong academic standards, high-quality infrastructure, and better results, unlike
government
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-funded universities, where teachers fail to encourage
students
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towards learning.
Body paragraph 2
Moreover
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, universities that are fully funded by the
government
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often
fails
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fail
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to maintain higher standards of
education
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. Since they depend entirely on
government
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sources, they are unable to hire professionals
,
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apply
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or invest in any modern teaching methods.
As a result
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,
financial
Correct article usage
the financial
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burden on the
government
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increases in order to maintain the quality of the
education
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. To handle
this
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pressure, authorities may raise taxes
and
Correct word choice
, which
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ultimately
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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affects local people.
In addition
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, without proper infrastructure, maintenance, and the latest equipment,
students
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gradually lose their interest in studies
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
and eventually drop out. If it continues for
longer
Correct article usage
a longer
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period of time,
then
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universites
Correct your spelling
universities
have to face serious consequences
due to
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poor performance.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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free tertiary
education
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can support equality, I believe that completely removing tuition fees would reduce the quality and value of higher
education
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.
Instead
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, governments should provide merit-based scholarships or family support
scholdarships
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scholarships
to deserving
students
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.
This
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approach
encourage
Correct subject-verb agreement
encourages
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students
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to become more competitive to earn rewards from
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
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.

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task response
Your view is clear: you do not agree that all university study should be free. However, explain more fully why help for poor students is better than free study for every student. You could compare both plans and show why your plan is fairer.
task response
Some main claims need stronger support. For example, free study does not always make students care less. Explain why this may happen, or use a clear real-life case. Also, the point about private and public universities is too wide; not all public schools have low quality.
task response
Your example is general rather than a real example. Add one clear case, such as a country, a university, or a student from a low-income family who can study through a grant.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an end. Keep this shape, but make the link between the first and second body parts clearer. The first is about student effort, while the second is about government money and school quality.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. Words such as 'then', 'eventually', and 'in addition' are used often. Use shorter links when needed, and make sure each sentence follows clearly from the one before it.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body part start with one direct main idea. Then give an explanation and one example. This will help the reader follow your points more easily.
task response
You answer the question directly and keep the same view from the start to the end.
task response
Your answer offers a useful other plan: grants for students who need help.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because it has clear paragraphs and a clear final summary.
coherence and cohesion
You use some helpful linking phrases, such as 'Moreover', 'As a result', and 'In conclusion'.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Higher education
  • Accessibility
  • Social mobility
  • Meritocracy
  • Economic growth
  • Equality
  • Subsidize
  • Fiscal sustainability
  • Human capital
  • Incentivize
  • Underfunded
  • Tuition fees
  • Academic achievement
  • Workforce
  • Tax burden
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