IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You recently made a journey by train. When you got on the train, you realised you had left a bag on the platform. Write a letter to the station manager. In your letter: • give details of where and when you left the bag • describe the bag and its contents • suggest how you could get the bag back •

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to you about a situation that happened yesterday, October
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
5
at
Punctuation problem
, at
show examples
 approximately 5:20 pm. I accidentally left my bag on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
platform 2 near the
train
Use synonyms
 doors
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 I believe that the
train
Use synonyms
 number was 345
, when
Punctuation problem
. When
show examples
 the accident
accoured
Correct your spelling
occurred
, I left the
train
Use synonyms
 at the third stop on the National
Train
Use synonyms
 Station,
then
Linking Words
 I hurried to look at the board to see my next
train
Use synonyms
when
Correct pronoun usage
, which
show examples
 I
forgot it
Wrong verb form
had forgotten
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. The bag is a
medium sized
Correct your spelling
medium-sized
 purse, the
color
Change the spelling
colour
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 of the bag is black with leather parts, it has a pink zipper
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 the handle is
also
Linking Words
 a pink
color
Change the spelling
colour
show examples
 with some leather details. Inside I had my passport and
Id
Capitalize the proper name
ID
show examples
, a laptop, my keys, my wallet and some important files for work. Could you please check with the platform security or the lost things office
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the
train
Use synonyms
 station
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
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 you could send me a phone number that I could contact and ask about the purse.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 I am available to come to the station immediately to collect it, if it has been recovered. You can reach me at
this
Linking Words
 email for any more details about
this
Linking Words
 situation. Yours faithfully, Miranda Smith

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task response
Give the station name and make clear if you left the bag at the first station or at the third stop. This will help the manager find it.
task response
Say which way you would like the bag sent back, for example, by post to your home, or by collection at the station.
coherence and cohesion
Use shorter sentences. The first main part has many events in one long sentence, so it is hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Put one clear idea in each paragraph: when and where, what the bag looks like, and how to return it.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear linking words such as 'First', 'Also', and 'Finally'. Avoid using 'when' too many times in the same sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Check word use and spelling: write 'Platform 2', 'occurred', 'ID', 'medium-sized', and 'lost property office'.
task response
You give useful details about the time, platform, train, bag, and items inside it.
task response
Your request for help is polite, and you offer to come to the station to collect the bag.
coherence and cohesion
The letter has a clear opening, main body, and polite closing.
coherence and cohesion
The bag description is easy to see and includes its size, colour, zipper, and handle.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • station manager
  • journey
  • platform
  • forgot
  • retrieve
  • lost and found
  • personal belongings
  • important documents
  • valuable items
  • contact information
  • describe
  • distinguishing features
  • express concern
  • suggest
  • recover
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